Page 242 of Saving Forever with the Hockey Captain

He slides half a sandwich toward me.

I don't touch it.

"You should eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"I know."

He unwraps his own sandwich. "Tough."

I almost smile. Almost.

"You sound like Annette."

The words hit both of us. Coach quietly sets his sandwich back down.

I rub a hand over my face. "She'd probably tell me my body can't heal without calories."

"And she'd be right."

***

Silence settles again. Without looking up I finally ask the question that's been clawing at me since I walked into rehab.

"Coach..."

"Yeah?"

"What if I waited too long?"

He doesn't answer immediately.

"I don't know."

"I kept thinking..." I swallow hard. "I wanted everything to be perfect."

My shoulder. The season. Her internship ending. The timing.

"I thought if I waited until she didn't have to worry about being my therapist anymore..."

I shake my head.

"...I'd finally get it right."

Coach nods slowly.

"And now?"

I stare at the cold coffee. "I think I waited until there wasn't anything left to save."

The words hang in the room. Neither of us moves.

Outside, a breeze stirs the wind chimes hanging from the porch.

Inside...

I've never felt her absence more.