Page 20 of Blurred Boundaries

“We are. See, I’m already inviting our guests.”

“Isn’t it too early to start preparing for a summer party?” I ask

“Nah. The earlier we start, the earlier Paulie can get on board and give Prosper his guest list.”

“I’m not inviting anyone to your nefarious party,” Paul deadpans.

He turns away from the camera. “You mean our nefarious party. It’s the big two-five for you and the three-five for me. We’re going to have a blast,” he declares before turning back to me. “Now, tell me why you have that look on your face.”

“Maybe his hot professor broke his heart,” Paul supplies.

“No shit! You have a crush on your professor?” Daniel’s eyes widen. “How old is this man?”

“Leave me alone,” I glower at him. “He’s thirty-two, but it doesn’t matter anyway. He doesn’t want anything to happen between us.”

“Bro, I think he’s too old for you. And you probably shouldn’t date your professor anyway,” Daniel says. Before I can answer, Prosper calls his name in the background. “Gotta go. I’ll call you later.”

I sigh and roll my eyes as he ends the call. I heard what my cousin said, but he doesn’t understand how far gone I am. I keep circling back to Mike . . . him telling me it was a bad idea for us to be together, the way he had looked when he said it. He wasn’t rejecting me, exactly. He was saying we couldn’t be together now. Maybe instead of ending, it only has to wait.

I sit up and pull up his number, dialling it before I can talk myself out of calling. It rings, and then rings again, but he doesn’t pick up. I try twice more. It’s the same result each time, until my frustration builds into restlessness.

I get out of bed, change into sweats and hoodie, and I race downstairs. I don’t have a plan. I just know I need to see him. I want to tell him we can keep hanging out until the coast is clear. I grab my jacket from the closet, shove my feet into my sneakers, and open the door.

I stop dead in my tracks.

Mike is standing there, his hand raised like he’s about to knock. His presence knocks me sideways.

“How did you know,” he asks, voice almost a whisper.

I blink at him, confused. “Know what?”

“That I’ll come begging.”

13

MICHAEL

—The Feeling

by Lost Frequencies

I’ve made a lot of responsible decisions in my life, so I tell myself there should be a time where I’m allowed to be impulsive—and I’ve decided that’s today.

I don’t even last ten minutes before the regrets sets in. I sit on the sofa with my phone in hand, scrolling through nothing in particular and pretending I’m about to watch something. But my leg keeps moving on its own, tapping against the floor. Meanwhile, that familiar tightness builds in my chest.

I try so hard to convince myself to stay where I am, to be sensible like I’m supposed to—but before I know it, I’m already pushing myself off the sofa and reaching for my car keys. My hand slips in my haste. I catch the glass tray just before it tips over, steadying it.

I open my food delivery app as I move towards the door. I scroll through past orders until I find Taj’s address, still saved there since the last time I ordered food, back when Roland and Austin had been laying low in Nehvizdy.

I haven’t allowed myself to think about why the look in Taj’s eyes made me want to knock myself, or why the sadness in them made something in my chest twist. I definitely haven’t asked myself why his happiness has started mattering to me more than anything else.

If this ever gets out, it will turn into a scandal. I already know how that will end if word reaches my university in Nigeria. I might as well kiss that job goodbye. I don’t know where my bosses stand on everything, but they’ve said enough in passing for me to know there will be no support waiting for me there. It doesn’t help that Nigeria also criminalises homosexuality. I’m fully aware of all of this—and yet I find myself already walking out the the door.

I have to see him.

I start the drive to Nehvizdy without any kind of plan, and as I inch closer to the house, I still don’t know what I’m going to say to Taj. The only thought that stays constant throughout the drive is the way he looked at me. The idea of hurting him doesn’t sit right with me.

By the time I’m parking in front of his aunt’s house, my nerve almost fails me. I realise it’s a gated house, and that I didn’t think things through. Luckily the smaller gate is open, Taj probably forgot to lock it. I walk into the compound, finally settling on honesty.