Page 92 of Bitterness of Spirit

The door slammed and Elizabeth startled. Her entire body was shivering, and tears stung her eyes. She had no reason for such a strong reaction as she was not involved directly in the situation. But Darcy’s pain, disappointment, and suffering were so powerful that she could feel it completely. And her heart ached for him while a deep sense of loss and loneliness enveloped her as she understood the consequences of his last words.

***

Lord Matlock and Lady Catherine hastened after Darcy, slamming the door behind them.

Wilson threw his glass into the fireplace then filled another, emptied it in one gulp, and threw it in the fire as well.

Elizabeth rubbed her hands together to calm their trembling then stepped forward hesitantly until she appeared before the angry man.

He turned towards her, shock colouring his face.

“Elizabeth? What on earth are you doing here? When did you come in? Where were you?”

“I have been in the secret room,” she said, looking for a chair. Consternation, turmoil, affliction, pain, anger, disdain, pity, and sorrow all turned into a storm of feelings that weakened her.

Wilson looked no better. “For how long?”

“Since before you entered the library. Mr. Darcy came to speak to you earlier, and I met him. I invited him here and sent the servant for you. But then you arrived with Lord Matlock, so we hid in the secret room. I do not know why we did that. The situation was so distressing that neither of us thought through our actions.”

“So you stayed there with Darcy the entire time?”

“Yes. He asked me to remain hidden when he came out. I believe he did not want to expose me to his relatives’ censure.”

“So…you heard everything?”

“I did.”

“You look pale…and appalled.”

“I must be…both. But that means you can see very little of how I truly feel.”

“That discussion must not pass beyond these walls, Elizabeth. To no one—not even to Madeleine.”

“I understand that. It is not something to be spread abroad.”

He paced the library several times, followed by Elizabeth’s reproachful gaze.

“Do not look at me like that, Elizabeth. I can feel your disdain.”

“And how should I look, sir?”

“I am sorry you were unwillingly involved in this—and that you witnessed such a horrible fight. It is not a subject for a young lady.”

“Surely, you cannot pretend my sensibility is your main concern, sir. And yes, you did involve me and many others in your story. But the painful thing is that you involved us as you pleased without giving us any choice.”

“There was no other way. I can understand that you blame me, but revenge must be taken. I have lived twenty-five years with this situation.”

“I am not debating your right to seek revenge, Mr. Wilson. In fact, I was angry and appalled—as was Mr. Darcy. But you cannot deny that you used us both, involving us in your deceitful scheme.”

“But it affected you in no way. I did need Darcy and the colonel’s support in inviting Catherine and Lord Matlock. And it is true that I asked Darcy to keep my identity secret. But that was all.”

“To Mr. Darcy it was an affront. Can you not see how hurt he felt?”

“He is upset and acted irrationally. Once he calms down, he will see things differently.”

“He will still feel the deceit, Mr. Wilson. His genuine respect and affection for you make it even harder to bear or to forget.”

“He has forgiven you, from what I saw, although you hurt him much more than I did.”