Page 12 of Gang of Roses: Kash

“You were missed, D,” I confessed.

“I know it. Yo’ pussy made it loud and clear just how much. Why it take you so long to come back home to a nigga, Sol? Every time you dip out at some random ass hour of the night my chest cave in.”

“Oh please,” I said offering a small laugh. “I’m sure you got other bitches that can handle you until I show face again.”

Am I still the only one?

Shaking his head, he replied with, “You know me better than that. Hoes make yo’ dick itch, and I’m one that like fuckin’ raw. I’ll stick to the pussy that’s kept me in the clear.”

“But you never know when I’ll be in town. You telling me you be good waiting on a bitch to call?”

“I got hands that work perfectly fine, Ma. I promise you, I’m good on fuckin’ hoes. They ain’t you, Solenne. I meant what I told you. I don’t want nobody but you. When you ready to settle with me, let me know,” he voiced.

This was another reason I genuinely loved Declan. He was letting me move at my own pace. He was such a good man, and I wished I didn’t fear losing him the way I did. That step would’ve been taken. However, much like I did with Rebel and Dice, he too was going to be loved from a distance.

This jinx on me was mine to bear alone.

“Where’s my plate, D?” I said realizing he walked in with no food.

“I’ll run and get us something. My folk worked my nerves, and I wasn’t sticking around to hear more of it. That’s my fault,” he explained.

“It’s cool. Who was it this time?”

“Deonna as always. She tired of not being of use the way Donnie and Dray is. You know how I feel ‘bout her, Sol. Regardless of how she see herself, that’s my baby sister, my only sister. I got to protect her.”

The Saints dabbled in a lil’ of everything with D being the head of it all. I loved how he protected them. However, they were going to do what they wanted leaving him to clean it up. Deonna just wanted to be everywhere her brothers were, so I understood her point. At one point in time, Dice, Rebel, and Rose had a permanent shadow. Where one went, so did I.

“As you should. Deonna isn’t a baby anymore though, D. She’s gon’ want in on everything y’all got going on. Being behind the wheel is probably making her feel like she ain’t really needed.”

“She ain’t, but ‘cause she won’t sit her ass at home, I let her do the driving. Look, you nor her gon’ make me change my mind on this. I said what the fuck I said, Sol.”

Throwing my hands up, I let him know I wasn’t debating him on it. That was his family, not mine. I lost one too many people, so I had no say so. It made me no never mind how he conducted his role with his siblings.

“You got it baby. I promise you, you do. I am hungry though. What you think about hibachi from Ichiban? We haven’t had it in a while. Well, I haven’t.”

“I don’t eat without you, Sol. Wherever we like going, I don’t go back until you in town. Unlike you, I got a sense of loyalty,” he jested.

“So, me loving only you and making sure you’re the only nigga that’s ever had me isn’t? Damn,” I chimed.

“If I’m the only nigga, why you ain’t mine then, Sol?”

I knew he was gon’ catch me up. He always did. I had nothing to say. I was open with why we hadn’t made that official step.

Laughing, he nodded saying, “Don’t even trip, Ma. I’ll be back.”

With that, he quickly got dressed and walked out the room. One day I was gon’ have the courage to give him what he wanted, it just wouldn’t be today. I had way too much shit to sort through mentally and emotionally.

4

EMPTY THE SAFE

D-ROW

Another day a new aggravation. I was over this fuck ass job and lowkey, I was losing my shit. I was irritated simply because two tellers called out making me work the front. I ain’t worked as a teller in years. The way these customers done wore me thin up in this establishment, I was ready to face several blunts to the face and possibly a bottle. I never really cared as to why my tellers would take so many breaks but now, I understood. Five o’clock had finally rolled around but a nigga still had to hand count out a little over 3Ms by hand.

Tyler Valorie was downstairs sitting in the conference room waiting on me and two of my tellers to come and assist him. My clothes were sticking to me at this point. I needed a shower amongst all other things, but his difficult, attitudinal ass was ‘bout to fill my pockets for a while.

“Mr. Saint, we’re ready for you,” Angel stated.