Juni nodded his head, then plopped against Lilly’s chest, hugging Harry against his own chest, and closed his eyes.
“Poor fella. It’s going to take him a while to get back on a regular sleep schedule.” Carleigh felt Bayu’s eyes on her. She stood, going to him. “Will you all excuse us a second?” When she held out her hand, he took it and didn’t hesitate to follow her upstairs. Once they were in their bedroom, Carleigh closed the door.
“What’s bothering you?”
“Why do you think something is bothering me?”
“I haven’t known you long, but your face is very expressive. What do you need, my tiger?”
Bayu opened his arms, and Carleigh stepped into them. “Just this.” After hugging for several minutes, Bayu admitted, “I’m about two seconds from falling apart, but I cannot. I have to be strong for Juni.”
“No, you don’t. He’s surrounded by his new family, and we will all look after him while you take care of yourself. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to go outside and yell the stars down, do that. If you need to sit alone with your feelings, I’ll go downstairs and leave you to it. If I had lost all my family in the course of a few days, I would have already fallen apart. I would curl up in a ball and hide from the world.”
“Your Clan wouldn’t let you. They would rally around you.”
“Kind of the way they’re doing for you? Even though we haven’t completed the mate bond, they’re your Clan too. All forty-eleven thousand of them.”
Bayu leaned back, frowning. “Forty-eleven?”
“Yeah. It means a shit-ton. Which means a whole bunch. I’d have to ask Lydia the exact number, but I do know your new family is larger than you can imagine. Lilly and the twins are family to Anthony and Tabitha on their mother’s side, so we claim them as our cousins too. Elle is Anthony’s mate, and Nekoma is her brother, so we claim them like we do Anthony. Major is Tabitha’s mate, and he has a large family of Gryphons who would come to our aid if we called. I’m not trying to overwhelm you with the number. I want you to know you aren’t alone.”
Carleigh leaned back but kept her arms around Bayu’s neck. “I’m going to be truthful with you now, and I hope it doesn’t upset you, but it’s how I feel. I am truly sorry for your loss. I know that’s what people always say to the grieving, but I have no other words to express my sympathy. I cannot imagine what you are going through. I am not concerned with Baekyo. He can piss off. The longer I sit and copy the symbols, the angrier I get at your god. If he was that invested in his Nuhuala, why would he allow the Black Lotus to take out his champion? Why would he allow you to lose touch with your animal? I’m not saying I don’t want us to find the Black Lotus and end them. I do because I don’t want us to be looking over our shoulders for the rest of our lives. What I don’t care about is you being a divine source for balancing the universe. Wars have been waged since the beginning of time. It’s one of the reasons Gargoyles exist. The wealthy have always been greedy, always wanting more at the cost of those who have less than they do. I don’t know one Gargoyle who doesn’t invest in their community. Who doesn’t try to help the less fortunate. It’s why I have no problem using my computer skills to take money from some of those greedy bastards and give it to charities who need it.”
Bayu kissed Carleigh’s forehead, his lips lingering. When he pulled back, he asked, “Why would that upset me? I am in agreement. I did not ask to be Nuhuala. Neither did my father. That might be a curse in itself. I want future Carleigh and Bayu to have children, but I do not want our firstborn to carry this burden. As for your family, I am blessed to be part of it. I want to know what it feels like to have so many I can count on to be there for the three of us. Since we are being honest, I will admit when I first lost contact with Tiger, I was hopeless. I considered that I am not good enough to be your mate, but I am a selfish man. I want this life with you. I am sad that my parents and sister are no longer with me, but it has been eleven years since I have spoken with or seen them. The part that guts me is losing Tiger. If we can get him back, I will call it a win.”
“Then I will ask you again, what do you need in this moment?”
“This.” Bayu leaned down and pressed his lips to Carleigh’s. It was unlike the other times they had kissed. This was desperate. Needy. Filled with longing and passion. They both admitted to being less than experienced when it came to having sexual partners, but it was as though they had been kissing for years. Their mouths and tongues were in sync. Carleigh had never gotten hot and bothered by anyone she’d dated. Now she knew why. Kissing her mate was as natural as breathing.
Carleigh wiped Bayu’s lip with her thumb. “Can I ask you a personal question?” Bayu nodded, so she continued. “Why do you call your beast Tiger?”
Bayu chuckled. “I tried to give him a regular name, but he wouldn’t hear of it. My father called his Kevin after a character in a movie.”
“What did you try to name him?”
“Sanjay, but I was no older than Juni, and it came out as Danjee. I guess my little cub was stubborn, and he wouldn’t shift if I called him anything other than Tiger.”
“That’s adorable.” Carleigh pressed her palm to his cheek.
“Carwee!”
Bayu laughed before turning his face and kissing her palm. “I can see you are the favorite with our little cub.”
“Does that bother you?” Carleigh swiped her thumb across his bottom lip.
“Not at all. I am glad he feels safe with you. I imagine he is missing Gemi, and he has substituted you in the maternal role. I hope that doesn’t bother you.”
“Not at all,” Carleigh repeated his sentiment. “I am honored he looks to me for comfort. Supper is ready, and we need to listen to what else the witches have to say, unless you need more time.”
“No, I am ready, thanks to you.”
As they retreated back downstairs, Carleigh couldn’t be sure Bayu was any better after their talk, but at least he knew how she felt. When they reached the bottom step, Juni ran full out to get to her, and that warmed her heart. She hated to think the boy was missing Gemi, but Carleigh had no problem being his new mother. And that is what she would be, no matter if Gemi decided to come live with them. Bayu was his father for all intents and purposes, and they were already a family of three. She hoped Gemi would step back and allow Carleigh to be the mom the little cub needed.
Chapter 11
Talk of curses and the Black Lotus was put on hold while everyone crowded around the large dining room table. Juni sat in his new booster seat between Carleigh and her mom. Bayu wasn’t disgruntled that they had taken over care of his brother. If anything, he was grateful. He already loved the boy, but he knew little about caring for someone so small. It had been a long time since he’d been around Kiki at that age, and then, Bayu was focused on schoolwork and being outside with his father whenever Hariz was home or training with his mom with his katana. One thing he found odd was that Juni never mentioned or asked for Gemi. Since he lived with her, it was likely he didn’t remember Kiki or their parents. Maybe it was his age, or maybe he was like Bayu and overwhelmed with being in a new environment surrounded by so many others.
What they were focused on was Juni and his food. Bayu remembered the meals he had when he lived on Anjailang Island, and it was nothing like what Americans ate. The spices were different, and there were less of them. It had taken Bayu a while after moving to find restaurants that cooked meals similar to what his mother fixed. When Juni scrunched his nose after the first bite, Bayu reached for the pepper shaker and handed it to Carleigh. “Try some of this.”