Page 47 of Beast

His face becomes hard, his jawline a razor’s edge. “Don’ttry to tell me you don’t enjoy fucking me. I know that’s a lie. I can stillfeel your pussy squeezing me.”

And I can feel his arms around me. We speak two differentlanguages, want two very different things. It is easier when I can feel hismind, but he shut the connection down. The last time we made love, I felt thewall come down between us as though he slammed a door in my face. “I like themating. But I don’t like the way I feel when I know it’s only for now.”

His body relaxes, his arms coming out, coaxing. “Is thatall? Baby, don’t worry about that. I promise the future is going to sort itselfout.”

Perhaps. Perhaps not. “I have lived my whole life hopingthings would work out. They never have. Things do not simply work out.”

He smiles down at me, smoothing back my hair. “Of coursethey do. They work out all the time. Relax, and it’s going to be fine. One wayor another, you’ll be taken care of.”

I do not want to be taken care of. I want to be loved.Perhaps he did teach me more than pleasure. If someone asked me what I wantedweeks ago, I would have told them I want a warm bed, enough food to fill mybelly, and peace. Dante is offering all of that, and now I want more. I amworth more.

His hands move to my shoulders. “Look, the future might havealready been decided for us, you know. The way we’ve been going at it, youmight be pregnant.”

A pup. Baby. Dante’s people call them babies. I might bepregnant, a baby growing in my belly. The idea panicked me before, but now astrange tenderness fills me. I worried that the pack would never accept a childfrom my belly any more than they accepted me, but the world is so much biggernow. I am bigger than I was before. I can make my way in this world.

And if I cannot, then I will find another. I will never stopsearching. I will walk the planes until I find the place where I belong.

I love Dante.

“Kaj, don’t cry.” His face has fallen.

I feel the tears coursing down my cheeks, but he does notunderstand. I am not sad, not exactly. There is a certain joy to these tears. Iam stronger, and it is because I love Dante. It does not matter that he cannotlove me back. My love for him makes me better.

A baby. I could have his baby. I could have a child to holdand love and show the world to. The thought blankets my heart in warmth. Itscared me before. Now it is something to long for. A child with Dante’s greeneyes. A child to pour my love into.

“Kaja,” Dante says, his voice achingly quiet. “I’ll stop. Wedon’t have to make love again until I can get you on birth control. If youreally don’t want to risk it, I can get you some medicine that will take careof it.”

I shake my head. That is the last thing I want. “I do notwant medicine.”

The wolf inside still wants to run from him. He can break mywolf so easily, probably will, but the woman I am becoming stands her ground.If I do not fight, will I always regret it? How does one fight for a man? Willit even work if he does not want to be with me?

I wrap my arms around Dante, my decision made. I will spendthis time with him. I will make all the memories my heart can hold. When thetime comes to leave, I will do it with dignity. And I will not slink away tothe woods. I will find a home. I will build a life.

“Kiss me.” I turn my face up as Meg did to the sun when sherealized her husbands were there. Dante is my sun for now.

Dante gazes down, his eyes searching mine. “Are you sure? Ireally don’t want to hurt you. That was never, ever my intention.”

“Why did you buy me?” I need to know the truth.

His face flushes slightly, but his hands tighten around mywaist. “I needed a wife. You were the first one I found.”

I was convenient. I can accept that. I got something fromthe deal, as well. My life. “But you do not need a forever wife.”

He brings our bodies together with a little bang. “Damn it.I explained this to you. I’m crazy about you. I just don’t think I’m going tobe good at the whole marriage thing. Look, it’s not like I’m going to toss youaside. We’re married forever. There’s no going back, but one day we might wantto go our separate ways. I don’t want to lie to you. I want to be happy fornow. Now is all we have.”

Yes, it is. The present is certainly all we will ever haveif Dante wants it that way. I cannot force him to feel for me what I feel forhim. I cannot make him accept me forever. I can only control what is in myheart. I can only want what I want—and I want him. For as long as I can havehim.

“Then kiss me.”

His face bunches up, his forehead wrinkling. “I really amcrazy about you.”

Crazy is not love. Even I know that. “Kiss me.”

He lowers his head, his lips brushing mine. “I know youdon’t believe me. I’ll show you.”

His hands grip the cheeks of my ass and haul me up. I wrapmy legs around his body as he walks me to the nearest tree and places my backagainst the huge trunk.

“Gods, I really hope my cousin isn’t hanging around in thisone,” Dante mutters as he takes my mouth again.