Page 101 of The Ache That Stayed

Gone was the warm coffee-brown colour that always pulled me in. Now they were dark to a fault, almost black. Void of anything. Like she was looking through me. Like I wasn’t even there. Eyes so dark they didn’t look human. Like something had hollowed her out and left the body behind.

An ugly feeling lodged beneath my ribs.

“Look at me.”

No response.

Come on, Volpi. Where the fuck did you go?

I tightened my grip at her neck. Just enough.

“Breathe.”

Her chest hitched against mine, shallow, frantic, like she was drowning. I held her tighter, forcing her rhythm to match mine.

“Breathe,” I repeated, lower this time.

Her body trembled. A full-body shudder that hit like a shockwave. It felt like her body had locked in on itself.

I didn’t let go. Didn’t move. I held her there, forcing her back into herself. Slowly… her breathing began to follow mine.

In. Out. In. Out.

Her fingers curled weakly against my shirt. As though she was making sure I was real. Her tremors eased, and her body stopped fighting something I couldn’t see.

And then—she blinked. Slowly.

Once.

Twice.

Until the darkness in her eyes receded. Until—she saw me.

“Roxanne,” I said again, quieter now.

Her gaze focused. Really focused.

There she was.

My Volpi.

Back.

And the pressure in my chest settled—like I’d just pulled her out of somewhere I couldn’t follow.

She swallowed. “Wh—what… happened?”

I exhaled slowly. Relief hit hard enough to knock a violent breath out.

“Nothing,” I said. “You had a nightmare.”

I leaned down and pressed my lips to the top of her head.

Didn’t think about it. Didn’t stop myself. My hand moved to her hair, pushing it back from her face, smoothing it down in repeated motions.

She didn’t pull away. Even half asleep, she settled closer instead of pulling away. That wasn’t new; it was dangerous.

I tightened my arm around her slightly, pulling her closer against my chest. Her weight settled into me, fragile but real.