Page 18 of Session 25

“Yea.” I stood to my feet, walking back and forth in front of Rae. “So now you think the breakup should be a mutual agreement?”

“No. If you want out, you leave, but you make sure he knows that. Don’t drag him along.” I swallowed hard. Yes, I wanted this nigga out of my face, but the idea of actually being alone and single had me panicking. “This would be new.”

“And why is hearing or saying the word new scary to you? The look on your face says it all. It’s okay to experience something new, you might like it.” I didn’t know if Rae was being friendly or if the slant of her eyes and the smirk on her face was her flirting. Either way, this session needed to hurry up and end.

Forty-five minutes never felt this damn long in my life. I swallowed hard, eyes fixated on Rae. The alarm sounded, allowing me to relax a bit.

“Until next time.” She laid her iPad down. “Go home, get some sleep and tomorrow tackle the day, but if you don’t want to deal with your family and their shit tonight, don’t. Fuck ‘em.” She stated matter factly. “You gotta start putting you first.”

“You’re right, but now that the session is over, I can breathe. Goodnight.”

The day was long and drawn out. Annoyed, lonely, and horny, I drove from Rae’s office in Manhattan to my condo in Yonkers. The whole drive home I prayed that Marcel was not at the house. My tolerance for bullshit right now was at an all-time low, and he was like a gnat that didn’t know when to stop.

“Hello,” I answered the phone, agitated. I had pulled my car into the parking lot when my mother’s name flashed across my screen.

“I’ve been calling you. What is this that I hear about Marcel and Rika? What the hell is going on and why didn’t you call me?”

“For starters, mother, I didn’t call because I already knew what type of issue I was gonna have to deal with. And honestly, I don’t have the mental capacity for the “I told you so’s and the I should have known” bullshit.” Cursing at my mother wasn’t on my bingo card for this year, but something had to give. She had to know I wasn’t in the mood to deal with anything more than I had to.

“Wow. So, you feeling yourself, huh? I didn’t hurt you nor did I disrespect you, but I hope whatever you feeling will pass. But I tell your hot ass, one thing, don’t come crying to me with your bullshit.” She ended the call before I could even respond. I deserved that, but today just wasn’t the day to feed into anything. I tossed my phone in my bag, grabbed my keys, and stepped out of the car.

“Koi,” my heart almost jumped out my ass.

“What nigga? Damn. Are you trying to give me a heart attack? Like where did you come from?” Marcel stood off to the side with a bouquet of roses. If we were on better terms, I would have blushed at his gesture, but today, he could shove those roses down his throat and choke on ‘em for all I cared.

“I was just coming to grab some things, but I wanted to give you these.” I cut my eyes at him before waving him off.

“Go take them to ya’ dying baby mama. She seems to need them more. And secondly, we are not about to make this back and forth a habit. Get more than one outfit.” As harsh as my words were, they were the truth. Rika’s stupid ass had done the ultimate betrayal, and if she pulled through, I was going to make sure that I had my day with her.

“Koi, I’m trying to give you time to work through this, but you know I don’t want that bitch, and we are damn near married. You willing to throw all this shit away?”

“See, that’s the problem. I don’t care if you don’t want to be with her or not. You threw it all away the day you crawled between her funky legs. Shit, I’m shocked that neither of us ended up with something, but I won’t stick around to see how this plays out.” I brushed by him, bumping his shoulder extra hard, dropping the flowers to the ground. “So please, stop popping up here.”

“I live here, too!” The sweet talking guy he was a few moments ago was gone. “You ain’t gonna just throw me out. I said I’ll give you space. We're gonna figure this out, but you're not just kicking me out of the place I paid for.”

“Marcel, please. Diqué, you paid for it.” I let out a slight laugh. “You paid for it cus that’s what fiancée’s do. But now that you’ve gotten caught cheating and brought a kid into this world, you go make a life with your family. One that includes leaving your keys here and signing over the condo to me.”

“I wish the fuck I would.” Marcel was about to piss me off. I walked away, leaving him standing there. The shit that he thought was okay had me second-guessing if I was this pushover bitch. There was no way that he thought this shit was normal. But then again, I did put up with a lot.

He trailed behind me like a lost puppy. His breathing and footsteps had me screwing up my lips in disgust.

“Please do not bother me,” I told him as soon as I unlocked the door. I retreated to my bedroom, skipping past my usual routine of dropping my purse and keys on the counter. “And I mean it. I’m not in the mood.”

“I heard you the first time. Damn.”

An hour later, and I could still hear noise in the front of the house. Marcel was really saying fuck what I felt and was just doing what he wanted. Yea, this was also his condo too, but with everything going on, you would think he would respect the fact that I needed space.

While I lathered my body with coconut body oil, I could hear him on the phone. I tuned him out until I heard him mention Rika’s name. My ears perked up just as I grabbed my glasses from the nightstand. The saying was true: you can’t hear without your glasses, and this was information I didn’t want to miss.

As quietly as I could, I got up from the bed, cracking the door open just enough to hear him.

“Hell no, she better not think we even gonna do the coparent shit. I want my woman. I fucked up and Koi trying to write me off,” He sighed. “I’m not giving up that easily. She’s all I want, but I just continued to fuck up.”

Whoever he was talking to must have had a lot to say because all he said was, “yea”, “I hear you,” and “you right.” Annoyed with his lack of seriousness in this situation, I pushed the door hard, letting it slam against the frame before locking it.

Marcel could cut the bullshit. Now he wanted to feel a way about how he treated me. Whatever. He wasn’t mad about what he did. He was upset he got caught.

I knocked on my parents’ door in hopes that I could squash the beef with my mother. We hadn’t spoken in two days, and while it was my fault, I didn’t want to apologize over the phone. It was tasteless and disrespectful. And I was woman enough to come and make things right. Besides, with all the shit surrounding me. I needed my immediate family to have my back because shit was about to get ugly.