Page 89 of Starside

I sprint, panting, until … silence. There aren’t whispers in the trees. There aren’t any winged insects buzzing. There aren’t even grasshoppers. I sigh and run my fingers through my hair to ensure I’ve lost them.

A branch snaps behind me.

My hand on the hilt of my sword, I whirl around—

An elk stands just two feet in front of my nose.

Its fur is green, just like the dragon. Its horns are a crown of white, flowers caught on every point.

Its eyes are large and sparkling. It blinks at me and takes a gentle step forward.

It isn’t afraid. Even though my sword is halfway out of its scabbard. It doesn’t even look at the weapon; it just looks at me.

Slowly, I lower my blade back down. Something within me is called forward. I extend my hand toward it, the same way I did to my dragon.

This creature isn’t meant to be claimed, no … But still, it steps toward me, as if allowing me to touch it.

Its horns glisten in the fading sunlight. It leans into my touch—

And seizes. Its sparkling green eyes widen. No.

The creature collapses, a sword sticking out of its side. I fall to my knees, still reaching, eyes still locked with a gaze that is now unblinking. A horrified gasp spills from my lips.

I twist sharply. “What have you done?”

Raker ignores me as he walks to retrieve his sword. He cleans it on the grass, then reaches down and effortlessly lifts the creature onto his shoulders.

I remain in the dirt, next to a hot puddle of blood. “You didn’t have to kill it! We have food!”

He doesn’t even look at the mushrooms and berries in my shaking hands.

Finally, after a day of silence, he speaks. “Everything dies,” he says. “Get over it.”

Then he turns and walks back to the cave.

16

Monster. That’s the only thing I can think of as I finally make my way to the waterfall. The sun is setting. My hands are still shaking.

The elk’s eyes are in my head. It was looking at me. I distracted it. I got it killed.

Just like everything else in my life.

We’re on a journey of survival. I know that. This shouldn’t matter. But for some reason … for some reason it does. For some reason, that elk just feels like someone else I let down.

By the time I approach the cave, Raker has already skinned the creature. I look away, fighting the urge to vomit. He’s made a fire. He roasts the meat and unceremoniously ignores me as I step through the curtain of water and make my place as far from him as possible.

I count my mushrooms and berries, eat a portion of them until my fingers are bright with color, then carefully wrap what’s left in giant leaves I collected.

My stomach isn’t full—but I’m not hungry. Not that Raker ever offers any of his meat, even though it’s enough for several people to share.

Its smell fills the cave, making my traitorous stomach rumble, and that just makes me hate myself even more.

I fall asleep to the sound of falling water, my cheek against my blade.

Buzzing in my ear wakes me up.

Then a sharp pull.