Page 22 of Line Change

“You alright?” Hadley asks.

“That was my sister. Half sister, if we’re being technical.”

“Is everything okay?” Becca asks.

“Our grandmother died earlier this week.”

“Shit,” Hadley mutters.

“I’m sorry,” Becca says, putting her arm around me. “Do you need to go so you can be with your family?”

I shake my head, letting out a watery laugh. “No. I don’t know why I’m upset. I hated the woman.”

“Oh?”

“Fucking hormones.” I rub my face.

I feel Hadley’s eyes on me. Might as well tell her too. “I’m pregnant,” I whisper, dropping a hand to my still mostly flat stomach.

Becca rubs small circles on my back, and it makes me cry even more.

“Are we happy about this?” Hadley asks carefully.

“We are.”

“Who else knows?” she asks.

“Just you two and Sebastian. I’m only eight and a half weeks along, still feels early to tell anyone.”

She raises her eyebrows at me. “Is he …?”

“No, he’s not the father.” I wish he was, though. The thought hits me like a ton of bricks, and suddenly I feel as though I can’t breathe. I wish he were here. He’d know what to do. How to handle this. I don’t know how I know that, but I just do. I shouldn’t want him. He’s my temporary roommate. He plays for the team I work for. I can’t fall for him. But how the hell am I going to make it through however long living with him without getting more attached to him?

“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to,” Hadley says.

I rub my chest, trying to ease the ache, feeling the beginnings of a panic attack.

“It’s gonna be alright,” Becca says, shifting next to me, and I lean into her. “Focus on your breaths,” she says. “Can you inhale for a count of four and exhale for a count of four?”

I nod, unable to form words, and do what she says.

“I’m sorry,” I say after a few minutes when the panic has subsided. “I’m not even upset about my grandmother being dead. Fuck her.” Hadley snorts. “I’m just worried …”

“About?” Becca prompts.

As much as I’m close to everyone on the team, I’ve never talked about my family, but I guess that’s about to change. “That my father is going to try to pull me back into his world again, and I can’t deal with his toxic shit.”

“So don’t,” Hadley says.

“It’s not that easy.” I glance back at Becca. “My father’s an extremely wealthy man, and he uses his money and power to control people. To get what he wants. If he had his way, I’d be married to a man he approved of, and I’d have at least three children by now.” Becca’s eyes widen. “Yep, as bad as it sounds. Let’s just say I figured out a way to get him off my back and out of my life for good. I haven’t seen him since I was twenty and told him if he ever came near me again or contacted me, I’d ruin his life.”

“And your sister?”

“Anastasia’s my half sister. My mother died when I was young, and my father eventually remarried when I was ten. Of course, he chose to marry my mother’s younger sister. They’re from a ‘well-respected family.’” I put air quotes around the last three words. “Their father wanted my father’s business to buy his company, hence the marriages.” I wave a hand around. “My father and stepmother had two children—Anastasia and Gregory. Stasia is twenty-four, and Greg is almost twenty.”

“That’s messed up,” Hadley says.

I snort. “It’s a fucking train wreck.” I drop my head into my hands. “I’ve spent so much of my adult life trying to figure out how to get my siblings out of this mess.” I look up at the two women who now know my deepest darkest secret. “I’m not proud of where I come from. I changed my last name when I left. St. James is my great-grandmother’s maiden name. My mother was pretty absent when I was growing up, I think because she couldn’t bear to be around my father. I always wished she’d take me with her wherever she went. I hated how much she was gone. She’d come home when my father was out of the country on extended business trips, act like nothing was wrong, like it was normal she wasn’t around.”