Page 87 of Conquest

“Pretty good pictures, huh?”

Jesse jerked his head toward the balcony. Evan stood outside with his back to him, staring out over the lake. He wore only a pair of jeans. Jesse gazed at his bare back for a moment before looking at the tabloids again.

“Well, we both are extremely photogenic.”

“It’s cute you can find humor in this,” Evan said, pushing off the railing and turning into the bedroom. “Especially since it looks to me like the fun’s over.”

Jesse gave a confused shake of his head. “What do you mean?”

Evan veered toward his closet and stepped inside. “I told you we had to be careful. I can’t have these rumors flying around me while I’m trying to re-launch my career.”

“Your career? What are you talking about? These pictures don’t prove anything other than we hang out.”

Evan rested his hand on a black T-shirt and closed his eyes, trying to steel himself to continue. He took a deep breath and yanked the shirt off its hanger. “Yeah, the pictures are nothing more than innuendo, but there’s not much for people to question when you’re going on TV babbling how you love me.”

Jesse sat quiet for a moment. “But, you said you weren’t upset about that.”

Evan stepped back into the bedroom pulling the T-shirt over his head. “I just didn’t want you to get worked up thinking I was mad at you, and I thought it would eventually bother me less, but now I’m getting slammed with this. Personally, I think it was pretty goddamn selfish of you to act like that. Did you even think about me, or what I wanted?”

“Of course I did!” Jesse said, his tone turning desperate. “It’s because I was thinking of you I said that!”

Evan moved to the foot of the bed, fixing him with a cold glare. “You obviously didn’t think hard enough. You really can be naïve, Jess. It’s no wonder Brandon’s always saying all you got are book smarts and no common sense, because if you had even a drop of common sense, you would’ve realized the damage you could have inflicted on my career.”

“I’m sorry! I’ll admit I wasn’t thinking of the harm it could do, but the last thing I want is to hurt your career. I thought you would be happy that I didn’t offer myself as available to the world. I guess I took it a step too far.”

“You’re damn right you did,” Evan growled.

Jesse slid across the bed to get closer to him. “But I’ll do better from now on. I won’t ever say anything like that again in public.”

“You won’t have a reason to.”

Jesse stared at him, the ice in Evan’s eyes making him almost unrecognizable. Panic’s iron fingers began to close around his heart. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. “Are…are you…breaking up with me?”

Evan answered him with a silent stare.

“Y-you’re not serious,” Jesse stuttered. “You can’t be.”

Evan spun for the bedroom door. “I’m going into the city for the rest of the day. That should give you enough time to get your shit and get out.”

“Ev, no! There’s no reason for this! Fuck your career! Fuck my career! I don’t give a shit about any of it if it means I can’t have you!”

Evan paused in the doorway. He kept his back to Jesse and closed his eyes again. He swallowed hard, forcing resolve into his waning willpower. “That’s easy for you to say. You’ve never stood under the burning glow of stage lights with thousands of people screaming for you. It’s easy to give up what you’ve never known.

“If you need to use the Cayenne to move your crap, that’s fine. But don’t play any stupid games like leaving something behind as an excuse to come back over and get it.” On his last word, he walked out of the bedroom.

Jesse leaped out of bed and ran after him. At the bottom of the stairs, he caught him and threw his arms around him from behind. “Please, Ev, don’t do this. We can explain those pictures. It’ll be easy. Just don’t break this off. I love you.”

“Let go of me,” Evan snapped. He pried Jesse’s arms from around his waist and flung them away. “Try to be out by nine o’clock tonight. That should give you plenty of time. You don’t have shit of your own, anyway.”

Jesse stood frozen, watching Evan walk away. He heard the access door to the garage open, then slam close. A moment later, the 612 squealed out of the garage. His legs trembled under him, his strength beaten from him by Evan. He felt like he was going to either pass out or be sick. His head spun, and he dropped to the ground, his body, his mind, his spirit, drowning in loss.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Jesse sat tucked in a corner of the couch in the chill-out room, his back to everyone. Kenny, Julian, and Trish huddled at the table in the kitchen area making small talk with each other in muted voices in an attempt to keep a neutral atmosphere. Their delicate demeanor made him want to escape from them even more, but since Kenny had shown up at Brandon’s that morning and practically carried him out the door to bring him to the studio, he knew even if he did leave someone would come chasing after him. He understood what they were trying to do. They all believed if they could get him playing music again he’d feel better. The problem was, he was waiting to run into Evan at any second.

When Evan left him, he sat on the stairs for half an hour in blank shock. Finally he got to where he could move, but the only thing he found himself able to do was pace from one room to another, not knowing what to do with himself. At one point, he had revitalized by deciding he wasn’t going to lose Evan, he would fight for him, he would force Evan to believe they could be together and everything would be as perfect as before. Then in his mind he saw Evan’s cold eyes, heard his harsh words, and his battle spirit retreated. As that happened, he came to the hardest realization of his life; as his final act of respect for Evan, he had to leave.

Having nowhere else to go, he called Brandon. He knew he could have called Kenny, or Julian, or even Trish, and any would open their doors to him, but only Brandon would truly understand, and at that moment, he wanted to go to the one person he knew would never walk away from him, the one person who had always protected him.