Page 20 of I Punched an Alien and Now We’re in Couples Therapy

He fell into step beside me anyway. “Is this a poor time to say ‘I told you so’?”

“Why don’t you try it and see where it gets you?” There was enough malice in my words to have lesser men pissing themselves. Jivorn merely laughed and clapped a hand on my shoulder good-naturedly.

“Don’t be cross. You weren’t the only one taken in by the first pair of tits anyone has seen in a decade. Judging by the gaggle of ears at your door last night, I half expected them to demand you share—”

I swung a fist at his head, clipping his cheek before he was able to fully dodge. “All right, I see we’re still testy.”

“Make yourself useful and help with the search,” I growled.

Jivorn misstepped, knocking into a vase as he stared at me wide-eyed. He caught the vase before it shattered on the floor and placed it back on the mantel. “You can’t be serious. You’re still going to search for her?”

“Did I stutter?” I asked, pushing open the doors to the main hall. Outside, the sharp clang of a bell filled the air, a single, deliberate toll, followed by three rapid chimes. “The scouts are back already?”

“It would seem so.”

At the front gate, the scouting party staggered in, looking like they’d just come from war. I took in the battered state, immediately noticing two glaring anomalies.

“Where’s Magni?” I demanded.

Hakri had an arm clutched tight around his stomach. Blood trickled down from his gauntlets into the dirt. He tried to speak, but cut off in a wheeze. His knees buckled, and I ran to catch him before he fell on his face.

“Why are you just standing there?” I asked the growing crowd of onlookers. “Go get the fucking druid, NOW!” When a few guards ran off in the direction of med hold, I rested Hakri down on a stool and turned my attention to Yengro, who was bound and gagged atop the only mount that seemed to make it back from their trip. He thrashed and bucked against his restraints like a wild animal, causing the already flighty looking ribat to shuffle nervously.

“My lord.” Biesabu stepped forward, his eyes haunted. “We got to Fujilly Rock and managed to find tracks that looked similar to Blair’s. We followed the trail a little farther into Night Ridge territory and—”

“They attacked you?”

“No, King. We were ambushed by a pink bonecrusher. By the time we realized what was happening, it had already torn Magni in half. If it weren’t for the Night Ridge hunters that came to our aid, it would have killed us all.”

“A bonecrusher,” I repeated, dumbfounded. Bonecrushers were some of the largest predators found on this planet. Despite the fact that they stood as tall as two men stacked on top of each other, they moved like silent death in the swamps and grasslands they called home. The pink ones were more common in the far east side of the Fuchsia Grove, while the greens stuck to the swamplands in the northeast. It wasn’t unheard of to see one or two of them wandering farther outside their territory during the dry season, but I’d never heard tales of them appearing in the jungle that surrounded the mountain range Night Ridge called home. “What was it doing that far inland?”

“Growing fat on Sankado flesh, to hear those hunters tell it. They’ve named the beast Gruulorak, after the ravenous god, due to its insatiable appetite.”

“What of Yengro?” I asked. “Is he still in shock from the attack?”

White-hot loathing tensed every muscle in Biesabu’s form. He glared up at the bound warrior, then spat. “That craven bastard claimed he heard a bird singing and left us to rot. Said his true king was calling on him.”

Yengro ripped the gag from his mouth and roared, “I did hear it, the call of the Amdora bird! King Lokbaatar has returned!”

“That wasn’t your king, you imbecile, you heard a bird in the jungle. You abandoned the mission and left us to fend for ourselves because you heard a fucking bird in the gods damn jungle!”

Yengro showed no signs of relenting. “It was him! I saw him with my own eyes, and he’s not alone. There was another one of Blair’s kind with him!”

A hush fell over the fort, and I didn’t have to look behind me to know all eyes were on Yengro, but I did see the exact moment he realized it, too, and a dangerous smile flitted across his face. This would not end well.

“Lokbaatar must have already found where the females live. Our true king has returned!”

And that was when the riot started.

The guard I’d tasked with tracking down Blair only moments ago launched his spear at Yengro, who raised his arms above his head. The spear sliced through the binds on his wrists. He took the reins of the horncrest and snapped them. The beast charged straight for the gate.

The rest of the former Singing Arrows I granted shelter to had turned on us. Shouts filled the air as words clashed and bodies slammed together. By some miracle, the guards stationed in the watchtowers along the wall were loyal and did their jobs. Fireballs sprayed down from above, lighting up the ground in front of the horncrest, who slammed to a halt. The gate began to close.

I ran up the tower to defend the guard cranking the door’s winch just before a man I’d recognized as Govvi tackled him. I grabbed the traitor by his braid, wrapped the long white rope around my fist, and knocked him out. Down below, a full brawl had broken out. Fire was thrown on all sides until—who would have guessed it? The gate caught fire.

This shit was what I hated most about being king. It was one thing to rebel, expected even. Let the people have a voice. But what I could not fathom was why my loyalists were also using their firepower inside the fucking walls as if the whole place wasn’t built out of wood?

Stupidity, that was why.