Page 84 of I Punched an Alien and Now We’re in Couples Therapy

Blair continued, “Third, I don’t appreciate being shot with an apparent love dart that makes me horny for men I should hate.”

With great restraint, I kept my retort to myself.

The auditor flashed yellow. “A love serum?”

The Biwban squawked at that. “No! The next serum does not violate any mind-altering laws. It merely increases the subject’s adrenaline to activate the—”

The auditor’s entire body was engulfed in red. “I told you to be silent.”

With a shudder, the Biwban’s beak clicked shut.

Air seemed to whistle around it before the auditor floated closer to the Biwban on the ground and said, “It would appear that this standard check-in has become a criminal investigation. The BCI is to halt all operations effective immediately.”

“At once,” the Biwban said.

The auditor turned back to address us. “Does the Sankado also understand what I’m saying?”

“I do,” I said.

Blue shimmered down its long wings. “I see. I will need a representative from each of your species to come with me for further questioning.”

Sol and Dory separated themselves from the crowd to step forward. “We volunteer,” said Dory.

Sol cast a scathing glance at the scattered Biwban on the ground. “I’d like you to answer a few of my questions as well.”

Blair grinned and nodded toward Sol. “Yes, I’m sure my attorney will have a lot to talk to you about.”

Chapter 31

Osid

If you would have asked me a mere two days ago if I would ever be seen taking orders from General Ghoszi Lokbaatar, I would’ve laughed in your face, or stabbed you for your insolence. But the day’s wonders never ceased. “You need to go to your people. Now. King Iltith of Bloodcry is leading an army to your fortress.”

“How do you know this?” I asked. Suspicion reared its ugly head. My scouts had mentioned that Lok had been seen coming from their territory a short time ago.

“He attempted to recruit me.” The general shrugged, then reached down to unhook his water skin and took a swig. “I turned them down, obviously.”

My brow arched. “Is it obvious?”

Lok smiled and clapped me on the shoulder. “You’d be dead if I hadn’t.”

A laugh escaped me. “I’ll let that slide today. So why are you telling me now?”

He nodded toward Blair, who was busying herself with singing praises over the human called Misty. “Your queen is a friend of my Stardust.”

“That can’t be the only reason.”

He exhaled a laugh and turned to watch the crowd. “For a man hard-pressed for allies, you sure do ask a lot of questions.”

“It’s a curse, really.” I leaned against the wall and tried to let the revelry distract me from the endless suspicions.

Lok rolled his eyes. “All right, don’t give yourself an aneurysm. Look at them, really look.”

I scanned the group, looking for anything of note. A crowd had formed in the center of the courtyard. Music blared as a Roamcrest danced in front of the green-haired woman. He finished his performance with a backflip, and the crowd cheered. He drank in the praise, raising his arms up like a conquering hero before he turned and dropped his jaw to the floor when the woman sank low and did some kind of ass-centric dance that had every last Sankado in the crowd slack-jawed.

“They’re happy,” Lok said finally.

“That’s certainly a word for it.”