Page 145 of The Build-a-Boyfriend Project

“I guess I’d . . . I’d sit him down, try to explain myself better, try to tell him that my feelings were real, that maybe this began as an act, but somewhere along the way, it turned into something real for me.” Eli feels that familiar ache in his jawline, the pressure that builds slowly behind his eyes that’s become like second nature to him over the last few weeks.

He remembers these same feelings after Keith.

“And I’d apologize for the article. I’d . . . I’d make sure he knew that there was nothing to fix about him. That he’s perfect the way he is.”

“Do you really believe that’s true?” Patricia asks.

Eli wipes at his eyes with his sleeve. “Sure, maybe he needed help with social cues, understanding jokes, maybe he dresses like a frat bro and he’s addicted to his work. But no, there’s nothing wrong with Peter Park.”

“You should tell him that.”

She’s right, and he knows it. There’s no world where Peter takes him back, not after what he did. So maybe it’s time that he stopped worrying about what he could do to win Peter back. Why bother trying to accomplish the impossible?

“Sometimes it helps to be selfish,” she continues. “To do something for yourself. And maybe telling him that is what you need.”

“So, what do I do?” Eli asks.

“Well, you could always write down your feelings,” Patricia says. “But making a public spectacle of your apology might not be the way to go.”

Eli thinks for a moment, recalling all the rom-coms that he’s watched. Mark Ruffalo making Jennifer Garner a version of her dream home seems a little out of Eli’s budget. Running onto a plane à la Crazy Rich Asians might end with Eli being on the No Fly List. Considering they’re near the end of November, he seriously doubts there’s some New Year’s Eve party he could show up at like Harry did for Sally.

Then he has to wonder why his mind went instantly to using a movie to fix his problems, instead of just reaching out, asking Peter to talk. Of course, he knows already how that’ll go. Peter doesn’t owe him any of his time or energy. He doesn’t owe Eli a chance to stand there and beg for forgiveness.

Peter doesn’t owe him anything.

So maybe . . . maybe he should just leave Peter be. Maybe that’s the best thing Eli can do for him, maybe that’s the best way to prove how apologetic he is.

Just let Peter go.

Maybe that’s the best gift Eli can give him.

Chapter Nineteen

Scream, dir. by Wes Craven

“Hi there, what can I get started for you?” Eli asks the woman on the other side of the counter, his fingers ready to tap on the screen for her order.

“I’ll just do . . .” She peers at the menu on the wall behind Eli. “A large iced Americano, with whipped cream, please.”

Eli can’t stop the chuckle that slips out.

The woman stares at him. “Is something wrong with my order?”

“Huh? Oh!” Eli’s gaze shoots up. “No, I promise, just, uh . . . thinking about a joke I heard.”

“Oh, what joke? I love jokes!”

“It’s nothing,” he promises. “Is that all for you today?”

The woman nods, tapping her card when the amount for her coffee appears on the reader.

“Okay, it’ll be ready for you at the end of the counter there.”

“Thanks!” She drops a dollar in the tip jar on her way to the end of the bar where the rest of the customers are waiting for their drinks to be called out.

Mission Rise Coffee ended up being the only place Eli managed to get an interview at. And during the interview process, the manager had not-so-subtly hinted at how he’d been their second choice after the girl ahead of him took a job elsewhere.

But a job is a job.