Page 55 of Something About September

Inside, the air was warm, scented with baking apples and fried food. The hum of conversation wrapped around her like the exact sort of blanket she had needed, the very reason she had left the empty diner. She slid onto a stool at the bar and ordered a hard apple cider, then stared into the amber swirl when it arrived.

“Rebecca?”

She looked up and nearly groaned. Heather Walsh, smiling down at her. And beside her, Melanie.

“Oh, hey,” Rebecca said, bracing herself.

“Come join us? We’re sitting over there.” Heather waved toward a corner booth. “It’s moms’ night out.”

Rebecca hesitated, glanced at Melanie.

“You should join us, Rebecca,” she said. Her tone contained genuine warmth. Something about her expression disarmed Rebecca. So she picked up her glass and followed them to their booth.

“We’re both having a tough week,” Heather said as they settled in. “We’ve decided wine counts as self-care.”

“I’m intruding,” Rebecca said.

“No,” Melanie said firmly. “You’re not.” Then she glanced toward the bar. “Heather, will you grab us another round, actually?”

Heather nodded, as if receiving some kind of message, and Rebecca’s heart sank. What had she been trapped into? But it was too late. Heather was sliding out of the booth. “And maybe some nachos. Or fries. Or both.”

“Both,” Heather said. She met Rebecca’s gaze. “I told you. It’s been a week.”

When Heather was out of earshot, Melanie turned to Rebecca. “I wanted a minute alone, actually. I owe you something.”

“You don’t owe me anything.”

“I do.” Melanie twisted her wineglass stem. “I heard about you and Cort, breaking up. I’m sorry. And also…I have to be honest.” She took a deep breath. “I can’t say that wasn’t what I wanted.”

Rebecca blinked. “Well,” she said, “that’s…direct.”

Melanie gave a shaky laugh. “I didn’t mean to say it like that. Or maybe I did. It’s just—I’ve had two glasses of wine and a very long day at work.”

Rebecca stayed quiet, waiting.

“When we were teenagers,” Melanie continued, “I always saw how Cort looked at you. I knew it was something, even when he didn’t. I told myself it was just a little crush, that it didn’t matter. That he was my boyfriend. But…he really did like you. And it hurt, back then.”

Rebecca bit her lip. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“Don’t be. We were kids. It was high school. A lot of water under the bridge, and Cort and I would end up having issues that had absolutely nothing to do with you. It’s just that when you came back, it triggered something in me. And instead of being grown-up about it, I suddenly felt like the seventeen-year-old version of myself who thought she could control things by making someone else smaller. I did that to you, and it was almost a reflex.” She looked down at her hands. “I love Cort,” she said. “I always will.”

“The Cort Adams Effect is real,” Rebecca said, and at this, Melanie looked up and laughed.

“I’ve never heard that one before. And that’s exactly what it is. Those eyes. That smile. How genuine he is—because he is genuine. He’s a great guy, and as our marriage fell apart, I found myself wishing he could be the guy for me. Every once in a while, I guess I still do, like when I saw you two back together. I love Ryan, truly, but seeing you with Cort did something to me I’m not proud of.” She looked chagrined. “Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to be with Cort. I would never, ever go after him. We’re so much better as friends and co-parents. I just…”

“I get it. The heart has its reasons…” She trailed off when Melanie didn’t seem to get the Blaise Pascal reference. “What I’m saying is that emotions are not always logical.”

Melanie nodded. “I wasn’t fair to you. Cort and I were never meant to be forever. We both know that now. I hurt you guys for no reason other than my own insecurity, and that’s not the kind of woman I want to be.”

Rebecca took a slow sip of cider. “You didn’t ruin anything that wasn’t already cracking,” she said finally. “Cort and I…We aren’t meant to be.”

Melanie’s eyes softened. “I don’t know if that’s true. I should have known better. And Pip misses you.”

“I miss him, too—but you and Cort weren’t wrong. We needed to be more careful about Pip. You have this whole deal about who you introduce him to and when, and that’s healthy for him. That’s important, and I interfered with it.”

“You are a very hard person to apologize to, Rebecca,” Melanie said with a light laugh.

“I just don’t want you to be too hard on yourself.”