Page 138 of What Should Have Been Ours

From this day forward, this star shall be known by this name,

a symbol of a bond that can never fade—

not in this world, and not in the galaxies beyond.

Constellation: Orion

I looked back at Gabrielle, who had her hands draped around my neck, staring at me with a smile on her face. She started to giggle, and then we both burst out laughing together.

“Camrielle,” I said, almost out of breath. “I can’t believe you remembered us naming a star that.”

“Yeah,” she gets out between laughs. “I remember the very real argument we had over naming it Camrielle or Gameron.”

“Gameron sounded cool,” I scoffed defensively.

“Gameron sounded like a disease!”

I shook my head, laughing with her. “The same argument you had back then, huh?”

“Yeah, well, you gave in back then, didn’t you?”

I pressed a kiss to her shoulder. “Because I was obsessed with always making you happy. Still am.”

She took my face in both of her hands and kissed me. It was tender and full of pure, unconditional love.

I don’t want that kind of love and light to die inside of her when I do.

I pray it doesn’t. I pray others get to experience her heart like I have. It’s so beautiful.

Favorite Movie Marathon

We spent a whole day binge-watching every childhood movie we could think of. It was stupid and simple and everything.

We laughed so hard at some of the cringey ones, and Gabrielle cried at the sappy ones…okay, maybe we both did, but I’ll be taking that to my grave.

We stayed up all night running through all of our picks until we physically couldn’t keep our eyes open any longer.

We woke up the next morning with The Parent Trap playing, right at the part where the girls tricked their parents into meeting at the hotel. It was Gabrielle’s favorite part, so we just stayed there, cuddled up with the sun creeping through the curtains, watching the rest of the movie before making our way to the kitchen for a Gabrielle’s Special for breakfast—a large hot chocolate, a large cup of coffee, three giant chocolate chip pancakes each, and extra crisp, extra burnt bacon. Just the way I love it, because it’s just the way she loves it.

* * *

Day after day, I started to notice that every time we checked something off the list, I’d catch her adding something new, like she was afraid for it to end. Like if she just kept adding to it, kept stretching it out, we’d never have to reach the last item, the last moment, the last goodbye.

And I let her do it.

Because if she needed to believe that would give us more time, I wasn’t going to be the one to take that from her.

I’ll keep checking off the new items she puts on that list until my last breath.

63

Gabrielle

It’s happening too fast, too soon. We’re supposed to have more time than this.

One day, he was still himself—laughing, teasing, holding me like he always had. And then the next, it was like a relentless wave was pulling him under, like the weight of it all had finally caught up to him and refused to let up.

He still tries. He still smiles at me, still reaches for my hand, still cracks jokes when Wes is being particularly insufferable. But the fight in him is quieter now, like he’s reserving what little energy he has left just to stay with me a little longer.