Page 26 of What Should Have Been Ours

I heard the way he said he didn’t do relationships anymore. I won’t be the dumb girl pining over the boy who doesn’t want her as anything more than a friend anymore.

Plus, with my relationship track record, I don’t think I want to go down that path either. Especially after the last disaster of a relationship I ended up in.

I let out a sigh, leaning over on the counter of the clinic’s break room with my elbows propped up and my face in my hands.

My head has been spinning from everything.

From him.

I shouldn’t feel like this. I can’t feel like this. I refuse to be a masochist when it comes to love anymore.

I look over, and Kinsley is staring me down from where she’s sitting on top of one of the counters across from me.

“Alright. Spill it, Gabs.”

“Kinsley, I don’t have the mental—”

She holds up a hand, cutting me off. “Nope. You don’t get to Kinsley me. I’ve been watching you mope around here for days now, and I’ve tried not to pry, but we both knew that wasn’t going to last long. I know it has to do with seeing Cameron. So…spill.”

“I don’t mope,” I argue.

“You do, and you were totally moping. Trust me, I get it, I probably would be too if I had your luck in the love department.”

“Rude Kinsley,” I say, offended, lifting my head to glare at her.

She raises her hands in silent surrender. “Sorry, just saying. You’ve had crap luck with men for as long as I’ve known you. So…tell me what went wrong when you saw Cam? Is he a total jerk now? Did he tell you he had a girlfriend? A wife—”

“Kins—no,” I stop her, pressing my fingers to the bridge of my nose, “nothing like that. It was actually…good. Better than I expected. It was easy, like no time had passed at all. We just fell right back into the rhythm we’ve always had around each other.”

“So, the problem is…?” she asks, raising a brow at me.

“The problem is all of it. He’s perfect, he’s always been perfect. It’s always been easy to fall for him. But I’m also too afraid to think about anything more than a friendship with him, and he even said himself that he wasn’t looking for a relationship. So I’ve been trying to wrap my head around being okay with just being friends with him if I want him back in my life.”

“He told you he didn’t want a relationship with you off the bat? That’s a little forward and kinda rude, don’t ya think?”

“Well, no, not exactly. I asked him if he was single, and he told me he doesn’t really do relationships anymore,” I tell her, shrugging.

Kinsley scoffs, rolling her eyes so hard I’m afraid they might get stuck. “Gabrielle, come on. You really think that means he doesn’t want a relationship with you?”

I frown. “I mean…yeah? That’s literally what he said.”

She waves a dismissive hand. “No, what he actually said was he doesn’t do relationships anymore. That’s a classic ‘I’ve tried, but no one else has ever compared to you’ statement, and you know it.”

I let out a frustrated sigh, rubbing my temples. “Kinsley, you weren’t there. You didn’t hear how he said it. It was casual, nonchalant, like it was just a fact about his life. He didn’t say it like some deep confession about how he’s been secretly waiting for me.”

She snorts. “Right, because men are so good at expressing their feelings.”

I glare at her. “I just…I can’t get my hopes up, okay? I refuse to be that girl. The one wanting the guy who isn’t interested.”

I shake my head, pushing off the counter and pacing the tiny break room. “It doesn’t matter anyway. It’s not happening. My love life is officially a lost cause. I’ve accepted that.”

Kinsley leaned forward, crossing her arms. “This is about Parker, isn’t it?”

I freeze for half a second. “What? No.”

She gives me a deadpan stare. “Gab.”

I sigh heavily. “Maybe a little.”