Page 76 of What Should Have Been Ours

After a beat, I ask, “What really made you want to become a doctor? It was so hard for me after it was all finally over. I never wanted to step back into another hospital ever again. I don’t know if I could handle reliving those memories every time I talked to a patient like you have to.”

Cam leans back, his eyes flicking up to the ceiling. “It was really just all of the doctors, the nurses; the people who made me feel like I was more than just a patient. The ones who didn’t just treat the illness but actually saw the person underneath it. I wanted to be that for someone else. I wanted to make sure no kid ever felt like just another diagnosis on a chart.”

My heart wants to explode at how sweet and caring this man is.

“Now you’re doing exactly that, and you’re really damn good at it, Cam. I wish I had half the people skills you have.”

He shakes his head. “Yeah, some days, it doesn’t feel like enough, doesn’t feel like I’m able to do enough.”

I pull back slightly, searching his face. “What do you mean?”

He sighs, rubbing a hand down his face. “I had a patient a few days ago. A little girl I’ve been treating since I’ve been here. She’s been fighting for years. She’s…being transferred to hospice.”

My stomach drops hearing that, knowing it’s so many people’s reality.

“I sat with her parents, tried to find the right words to make it easier, but there’s nothing. Nothing I can say to make it better. Nothing I can do to change the outcome they’re about to face.” He shakes his head, trying hold back the emotions. “It’s the worst part of this job. Knowing I can’t save them all.”

I reach for his hand, lacing my fingers through his. “You do more for them than you realize. Just like you did for me back then.”

He squeezes my hand, pulling my attention up to him. “You know…I’ve had this dumb dream for years now,” he admits, “ever since I started my residency.”

I tilt my head. “What dream?”

His eyes light up a little. It’s so slight, but I see the shift, this flicker of pride in his eyes. “Some kind of foundation. For the kids in treatment. For their families. Something to help make things even a little bit easier while they’re going through it all. Especially with such long stays sometimes.”

A warmth spreads through my chest as he continues.

“I want to bring more outside experiences to the kids; more events. I want to bring to life all of the ways we used to try to make the hospital feel normal when we were there.” His voice is getting more animated now, his hands moving as he talks. “I would love to set up on-site housing for families, so they don’t have to travel back and forth. Something that’s actually connected to the hospital. I want a fund to help with expenses so no parent ever has to choose between affording treatment and paying their bills, like mine did.”

I watch him in awe, completely mesmerized by the passion in his voice.

“I want to give these kids more than just medicine. I want to give them memories. Hope. A reason to believe they’ll get to the other side of it, just like we did. We had to make so much happen for ourselves that most kids in the hospital don’t get to experience while they’re stuck here. I just remember those being the most impactful in keeping my mental battles less of a fight most days.”

Seeing him like this. Talking like this. Watching him spill his heart out and seeing the passion he has for his job and the kids he helps tugs at my heart in an almost unbearable way.

“I love you and your beautiful heart,” I tell him quietly, looking up into his eyes, admiring every part of him.

Cam stops mid-sentence, his mouth slightly open, his expression frozen.

I blink, suddenly realizing what I just said.

Panic flares in my chest, but before I can take it back, before I can explain, his hand is on my face, tilting me up toward him a little more. His expression is so warm.

“Say it again,” he whispers.

My heart stumbles a little, my voice quieter this time. “I love you.”

He smiles, and then his lips are on mine. It’s not desperate, not rushed. Just tender, like he’s savoring the moment and the words.

When he pulls back, he presses his forehead to mine. “I’ve loved you since we were kids,” he says. “And I never stopped. Not once.”

Tears prick at my eyes, but I smile through them as they get blurry. “Yeah, I don’t think I ever stopped either, Cam.”

Holding me tighter, he hums peacefully, like me saying it out loud makes him feel more content now. “I’m sorry it took me twelve years to find my way back to you, Gabrielle. But I promise that not a single day from here on out will go by that you don’t know how much I love you. That you have to question if you have my heart. You were stuck with me when we were kids, and you’re stuck with me now. There’s no breaking this, okay? Never again.”

My heart feels like it’s melting in my chest.

I snuggle closer into him. “Trust me, as soon as we made the rules for our Sick Kid Club, I knew I was stuck with you.”