Page 83 of Mutual Discord

The clamor of people around us, their cheers and bustling bodies jostled our own, but Alex and I were lost in each other and I didn’t ever want to be found.

Suddenly, someone tugged on Alex’s arm and he yanked his head up.

“Happy New Year,” Camila cried, giving Alex a side hug while she gripped my hand. Sam smiled at us from behind her.

I watched as Camila rose on her toes to speak in Alex’s ear, but I couldn’t hear what she told him over the noise. But whatever it was shaped a fond smile on his lips, and he turned to embrace her fully.

Watching the siblings, and then Alex and Sam, wish each other a happy New Year made me think of Denise. How I should be wishing her a happy New Year now, and yet she was celebrating elsewhere because of my actions. I had to speak with her because I refused to take this argument into the new year.

Stepping into Alex’s side, I waited until he turned to me. “I’ll meet you at the table. I want to find Denise.”

Alex seemed to understand the importance of this comment because he nodded. “I hope it goes well.”

Hope was what I clung to as I crisscrossed through the club-goers, my head on a swivel as I tried to locate my friend. Ignoring a group of men who called out to me as I walked by, I slinked by a trio of women taking a selfie when I spotted Denise. She was standing and chatting with her friends, but there was a new man at her side. He was tall and good-looking, and his eyes were glued to Denise as she appeared to laugh at something he said. But the amused light on her face extinguished as soon as she saw me. I didn’t dare move closer and waited silently as Denise whispered something to the man and then walked toward me.

“Happy New Year,” I said when she came to a stop before me.

Denise dipped her head but said nothing.

Resisting the urge to cross my arms over my chest, I reached for my courage. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’ve made things weird between us.”

My friend just considered me.

I licked my lips and forced myself to continue. “I know I’m being selfish. I know I’m being a terrible friend. But…” My throat bobbed on a swallow. “But I care about Alex. A lot. And I don’t know what to do with all these emotions.”

“A good place to start would be telling Caitlin,” Denise said, breaking her silence. “If you want what you share with Alex to be real, you have to be honest. With Caitlin and with yourself.”

Squeezing my eyes closed, I jerked a nod.

Gentle pressure on my arm made me blink my eyes open. Denise’s hand was firm around my forearm.

“I want you to be happy. But your happiness can’t come at the expense of someone else’s.”

My mouth trembled as I said, “I know it can’t.”

Denise’s expression was thoughtful as she wrapped me in a hug. For several long seconds I allowed myself to settle into the warmth of her embrace, and when we finally moved apart, we both had tears in our eyes.

“I’m not ready to leave yet,” she said, glancing meaningfully at the dark-haired man who still waited for her nearby, “but I understand if you want to get out of here. I’ll catch a ride with my friends.”

Although she didn’t say it, I was sure Denise knew I would be going home with Alex. I appreciated that she didn’t make me confirm it.

“Text me when you get home, no matter the time,” I said.

“I will,” Denise said, already turning to walk away. “Happy New Year.”

With an exhausted sigh, I walked up the stairs to the second floor. I found Alex at our reserved table, chatting with Camila and Sam, who had already grabbed their coats.

“Are you guys leaving?” I asked when I arrived at the table.

Sam nodded, but Camila’s face twisted into a grimace. “After traveling all day, and then dancing all night, we’re exhausted.”

“It’s been a long day,” Sam murmured. “A good day but a long one.”

“I can imagine,” I said, glancing at Alex, but he was reaching for his phone.

“Let me call you a ride to take you back to the apartment,” he said, tapping on his phone screen.

“Ay, Alex. You don’t have to do that.” Camila smacked her brother on the arm. “We’re perfectly capable of getting back to your apartment.”