Page 60 of The Bonds of Indigo

It isn’t fair. He’s truly massive. Broad shoulders, strong everywhere, and I’m sure if I saw him without a shirt he’d have a six-pack, if not more. The tattoos I’ve glimpsed look like they belong on his skin, like he was born with them. From the dragon on his right upper arm clutching a sword, to what I think is a lioness on his left forearm, he’s an inked… brute.

And then there’s his hair and full beard. Ugh. Men like him should be bald with patchy stubble. He shouldn’t get to have all of it: muscle, height, hair, tattoos. Yet he does. It’s unfair that someone like him would be granted all of that.

Someone like him…

I lean my head back and take back my thoughts.

He isn’t the problem, and it’s obvious whoever he’s trying to reach is someone special to him. Doesn’t make me hate him any less, because the way he went about this is reckless. All he had to do was go back to Thornegate during the day, ask why he couldn’t say my name, and I would’ve given him permission to give it to whoever he wanted.

He didn’t need to break me out.

All of this could’ve been avoided. As much torment as I was going through in that place… what awaits me out here is far scarier. Physical pain and humiliation can be blocked out; I’d become so good at it that most of the punishments didn’t hurt anymore.

Heat pricks behind my eyes, and I release a shaky breath. There’s no good anywhere my road leads. I’ll always find the inevitable cliff waiting for me, ready to swallow me into the crater that will be my tomb.

A hand wraps around my good forearm, and I instinctively try to pull away. The grip is too tight for me to get far, and when I trail my gaze along the inked skin up to Kayn’s face, he sighs.

“Come on.”

I scoot past the steering wheel and step out into the brisk night. It’s pitch-black, and I have no idea what’s out there, but the moment my toes touch the cold dirt, relief washes over me.

This time, my sigh is one of content. They can’t get me here, and I’m more grateful than ever that I won’t have to face a mirror tonight or sleep too far away from someone who could tear apart anything that comes close to me.

I may not like the man who puts his hand on the small of my back, but because he needs me, I know I’m safe—at least until he realizes how futile this attempt is. Then I’m sure he’ll snap my neck and move on. If only that fate were in the cards for me. How easy my end would be.

The tent isn’t big, but it’s enough for just me. Inside, a small red light reveals the sleeping bag and a few extra blankets.

I glance around for Atlas.

“He’s taking a piss,” Kayn whispers. “Answer me something, little slayer.”

Gods, I wish he’d stop calling me that.

“What, Butcher?”

He bends down, his hair brushing my shoulder. “Do you really think that I’m stupid?”

My heart leaps straight into my throat, and I struggle to swallow it back down. As much as I’ve called him stupid, I don’t truly think he is. I do believe he’s rash and makes decisions too quickly, but if I’m right that the person he’s searching for is someone he cares about, well… people tend to be hasty for the ones they love.

“No,” I croak.

“And I don’t think you’re stupid, either. Quite the opposite, actually… I think you’re too smart for your own good. So tell me—why are you being stupid and lying to me?”

I release a shaky breath. “Lying is a subjective term.”

My entire body erupts in goosebumps as his hand grazes my shoulder and wraps around the back of my neck. “Do explain.”

His chest presses against my back and I tense. “What are you doing?”

“Invading your space, because I tend to get better answers when you want to get away. I promise I’ll let you go—stop touching you—once you answer the question.”

I swallow hard. “I’m giving you answers that aren’t lies… but not entire truths.”

“Atlas seems to catch onto those,” he murmurs, “but I think you’re being deceptive. I think… you’re trying to throw me off.”

Shaking my head, I try to step away, but he holds me firm. “I’m trying to give you what you want, Butcher, so that I can get what you promised.”

His thumb drags along my hairline, tugging lightly at the baby hairs and sending another shiver racing down my spine. “I know. This is selfish for both of us. But what I don’t understand… is why you won’t just be honest. Who cares, right? You’ll be gone. So why not tell me the truth?”