Page 68 of The Bonds of Indigo

I lift my hands toward her waist, but before I can touch her, she raises her hand and slaps me. Hard. My head snaps to the side, and I know some external force fueled that hit because Vayl above, it hurts.

“I take back what I said! You are fucking stupid!” Her voice breaks, raw. She swings again, but I catch her forearm before she can land it. “Y-You moron! Why would you do that?!”

She tries to tear free of my grip, but I hold on tight.

“I don’t understand what just happened, Amarah.”

“DON’T SAY MY NAME!”

Her scream detonates between us, quite literally shaking the ground. She throws everything into it, and the force rocks through me like a physical blow.

“I told you to stop! You—you shoved me out of the way, you fucking asshole!”

I don’t remember any of that.

“You were nearly dragged into the Beyond, Butcher. Do you understand what that means?!” Her breath hitches, breaking apart. “You wouldn’t have gone in willingly. Y-You would’ve…” Her voice fractures completely, and she starts hyperventilating. “Y-You fucking prick! Y-You can’t die! You can’t⁠—”

She screams again—loud, guttural—and her fist slams into my chest.

“I hate you! I hate you! I told you this was stupid! Gods, I told you how stupid this was!”

“Calm down.”

“Fuck you, asshole. Don’t tell me to calm down!”

I grab her other arm and haul myself upright. She collapses into my lap, thrashing, and even though I pin both her wrists to the side, she pulls so hard I swear she’d break her own bones just to get away from me.

I look over her shoulder to see the gate is gone. Nothing left but the scorched markings we saw the first time.

“I had to take you home…”

Her whisper drags my attention back to her. Her head hangs low, inches from my chest, shoulders trembling violently. I come dangerously close to wrapping her in my arms just to stop the shaking.

“Damn you,” she breathes.

“Look at me.”

She fights harder—hips twisting, heels digging into the dirt, trying to wrench away. That’s not happening. She’s not going anywhere.

“Amarah.”

“S-Stop, just…”

“Look at me now!” I snap, putting more force behind it.

Her head whips up, defiance and fury carved into every sharp line of her face. The red swirls in her eyes aren’t softened by tears—only raw, blistering anger burns there, so intense that for a moment, I almost wish she’d hit me again instead.

“I’m sorry.”

The words spill out of me with a sincerity I don’t even try to hide. Because fuck, I am sorry.

If she hadn’t dragged me back… would I really have died? Did she actually save my life?

She releases a broken, pained whimper. “I hate you. I hate you so godsdamn much.”

“I know. I know.”

I let go of her arms and lift my hands in surrender. She drops her own to her sides, shoulders tense, eyes locked on mine.