Page 94 of The Bonds of Indigo

“For something you didn’t do!”

Well, that’s new. Atlas was concrete in thinking I hadn’t slaughtered all those people that night. Kayn, though…

I drop my chin to my chest and sigh. “There is always someone to blame…”

“But not you.”

That’s when I smell it—copper. A lot of it. The metallic tang seeps into the sulfur-thick air of the spring. Unmistakably blood.

The moment I try to turn around, his arm wraps across my collarbones, holding me still.

“What’re you doing?!”

My answer comes not from his voice but from the sudden warmth spilling down my back. I lift my gaze over my shoulder to look at him—at least as much as I can—but I only catch the edge of his face, jaw clenched and his blood covering his beard.

“Why doesn’t it work!”

It isn’t a question. He already knows why. I told him he can’t heal me, no matter how badly he wants to.

“Maybe you need to drink it.”

“It won’t work!”

My shout doesn’t stop him. He brings his shredded wrist to my mouth and presses it against my lips. When he flexes his hand, the coppery blood rushes straight to the back of my throat. I gasp and choke, pushing against him, clawing at his arm. He’s a stone statue, and I’m merely Mundane.

I scream against his skin, jerking my head back, desperate to get free. The gag reflex rips through me as I’m forced to swallow. My skin prickles with violent goosebumps, tears burning down my cheeks as I scream into his arm.

“Why… Godsdamn it!” he roars, yanking his wrist away.

I’m coughing, choking, snot and tears spilling down my face. It isn’t the blood—Beyond, I’ve tasted my own and others’ all my life. That’s nothing new.

It’s why he’s doing this.

The reason he’s trying.

The purpose behind it.

“Fuck… Amarah, I’m⁠—”

“Stop, just… let me go.”

For once—just once—I wish he’d listen. But this is no different than every other time I’ve asked him for space. It’s like he’s incapable of giving it to me.

Kayn only allows me to slip forward an inch. Just enough for him to place his hand on my back again. I tense, twisting, fighting, but he holds me firm. The slick pebbles and mud keep me from getting leverage.

“Why won’t Vendra heal you? Witches can do it. I’ve read enough about your kind to know that.”

“You don’t understand!”

“Then make me understand!”

I suck in a breath to scream when his palm clamps over my mouth.

“Don’t,” he rumbles softly. “Gods, I’m not going to hurt you… and I am not trying to kill my friend because he sees you naked. Do you understand me?”

My knees buckle, and as I start to fall, he hauls me back against him, my spine flush to his chest, holding me tightly to him.

“I told you yesterday…” I speak against his hand, causing him to remove it. “Vendra can’t protect me. She can’t save me. She can’t heal me. Nothing can heal me. The Nocthariel prevents it.”