Page 59 of Twisted Needs

“You haven’t answered Emelie or me in days.”

Guilt flickers briefly through my chest before irritation stomps all over it. “I’ve been busy.”

“Really?” he asks carefully. “Because you kind of disappeared after Verona’s. I’ve barely heard from you since then”

My throat tightens instantly. “Well, maybe I have my own life,” I snap before I can stop myself.

Luca exhales softly through the phone. “Hey. Don’t pick a fight with me.”

“I’m not.”

“You kind of are.”

I rub at my forehead hard enough to hurt. “I’m fine, Luca. Seriously.”

“You sure?” The question comes softer this time, like he’s approaching a wounded animal.

“I don’t know why you’re acting weird all of a sudden,” I mutter.

“What?”

“You’ve been riding my ass nonstop for the past couple of weeks. Since when have you ever given a shit?” The second the words leave my mouth, I regret them. Luca goes quiet. I close my eyes briefly. Great. Fantastic. Excellent emotional regulation from me as always. My therapist would be so proud.

“Anders,” he says carefully, “that’s not fair.”

“I know.” But I still mean it, even if it's just a little.

“I’m just making sure you’re okay,” he says quietly.

Something in my chest twists painfully at that. I know he’s trying. I know he’s tired. I just…can’t. Not when Parker hates me and I can’t fucking focus on anything else. “I’m okay,” I say finally.

“You know you can tell me if you’re not, right?” The question sits heavily between us.

I stare blankly at the thrift store wall while panic crawls slowly up my spine. Then Charlie yells from across the room. “Anders! Come tell Aviva her cowboy era needs to end immediately!”

“I gotta go,” I say quickly.

Luca exhales quietly. “Alright.” Neither of us hangs up immediately.

The silence settles too long, awkward in this deeply familiar way we’ve somehow become over the years.

“I love you,” Luca says finally.

The words hit harder than they should.

“Love you too,” I murmur.

After the call ends, I keep staring down at my phone for a second too long, hoping that if I wish for something hard enough, it might come true.

CHAPTER 16

WRITE ABOUT IT

ANDERS

I’m once again welcomed by an empty house that seems to feel emptier by the day. I’ve been trying to piece together whatever I did to make Parker upset with me. I miss him. Just being near Parker has always had this special ability to silence every racing thought in my mind, and I can’t bear it knowing I did something to mess it all up. The fact that I can’t even pinpoint where things went wrong stings the most. An entire month has gone by and Parker hasn’t said more than two words to me in passing. I actually feel pain in my chest every time he walks by. He was supposed to be there for me, and now he’s ignoring me.

“How many times have we talked about not putting all of your eggs in one basket?” Helen asks me after giving her my weekly rundown.