Page 37 of Ask Another Day

Holly wanted to point out you usually had to apologise to be forgiven, but she couldn’t be bothered. She didn’t see the point. It used up too much energy to be angry with Sloane, and she didn’t want to be angry on her birthday. So instead, she did what she always seemed to be doing lately, and she nodded.

‘Let’s get ready together - like we used to,’ Sloane suggested with a lightness to her tone Holly had missed lately.

‘OK,’ she breathed out the last of her lingering anger and hurt, ‘show me your outfit.’

‘Oh you’re going to love it.’ She beamed as she shucked off her rucksack and pulled out a dress. A dress that was too familiar. It was Holly’s dress. Well, not her dress. Hers was hanging behind Sloane on the front of her pine wardrobe. But it was the exact same dress.

‘Surprise! How cool will it be for us to be matching for your birthday?’

Words escaped Holly. She wanted to shout No, not cool. Not cool at all. But she just sat there, shocked into silence. Sloane smiled and took off for the bathroom - presumably to get changed into the dress Holly had been looking forward to wearing for weeks.

Alone in her bedroom, Holly looked at the dress staring back at her. Each delicate flower had made her smile this morning despite still reeling from the embarrassment of yesterday. The pattern had chased away the hurt and mortification that had consumed her since Sloane’s cruel prank at the beach.

As Holly heard the bathroom door open, she knew with absolute certainty, before even seeing her, that Sloane would look better than her in this dress. She couldn’t - wouldn’t - turn up to her 21st birthday party in the same outfit as Sloane, looking like a mediocre version. In the span of the time it took Sloane to walk back to her bedroom, Holly came to an irreversible decision. One that most definitely couldn’t be undone. With a force that gave her a perverse satisfaction, she ripped the silk at the side seam, and let the dress fall, torn, onto her bed.

‘Are you going to get ready?’ Sloane asked when she returned, looking predictably perfect.

Holly nodded to the pile of silk, ‘It ripped when I went to pull it over my head.’ Holly shrugged the words away, as though it was no big deal.

‘Bummer. It’s such a cute dress too, you’d have looked so sweet in it. What will you wear now?’ she asked as she brushed her hand down the soft silk of her dress.

‘I’ll find something else. Maybe Hannah can lend me something?’

Sloane’s hand stilled and she looked at Holly as if she’d said she was going to wear her dad’s sheepskin coat to her party, ‘But you’re so much bigger than her, Holly. Nothing of hers will fit you.’

And there it was. A return to cruelty to remind Holly the old Sloane wasn’t really back. Her old school friend had made a brief appearance, but this newer version had taken back control. The barb hung in the air between them, stabbing Holly with its venom.

‘Thanks, Sloane,’ Holly bit out, hating hearing the harsh tone coming from her lips, but she doubled down. ‘I’d like to get ready on my own actually.’

‘You are so sensitive these days. It’s like I’m walking on egg shells all the time.’

The rage at her hypocrisy fizzed inside Holly, but she willed it down. She was better than this. She wouldn’t be baited.

‘Must be my time of the month,’ she offered, with a calm she didn’t feel.

Whatever Sloane was going to say was interrupted by a text notification on her phone. She rummaged through her bag and smiled, broadly, as she read the message. ‘Seb’s waiting downstairs for me. Better go.’

The mention of his name made Holly feel sick to her stomach. Sloane was going to leave this room and go to speak to Seb for her and that suddenly felt so wrong; she didn’t want her speaking to him for her.

‘About Seb - don’t worry about passing on my message,’ she rushed out.

‘Oh no. I’m still up for that. I’m your wingwoman, remember.’ She winked at her, in what should have been a playful gesture, but felt loaded somehow.

‘What are you going to say?’

‘That you fancy him and if he feels the same, to meet you at The Dolphin at half 7.’

‘I thought you said my idea in the letter was childish?’

‘The letter - yes. But getting him to meet you before the party, I guess that’s kind of cute. Suits you.’ She shrugged.

Her nerves about Seb finally finding out how she felt, were clawing up her chest. But the thought of him not finding out, when she’d built herself up to this, well that was something she couldn’t bear either. Making a decision she wasn’t certain she wouldn’t regret, she repeated her words from a minute ago.

‘Thanks, Sloane.’ This time those words came out as sincere.

Holly was struggling to keep up with the dynamics of their friendship this morning - it was faltering like an off kilter pendulum.

‘Don’t mention it. I’m a giver Holly, and I can overlook your behaviour recently to do this for you.’