Page 41 of Forever My Lass

Madeline’s curiosity was evident, but she’d obviously chosen not to question him about what had happened. With an eagerness that astonished him, he experienced the need to share what had happened that terrible day. It was a story he’d never told anyone, not even his father, because it would have sounded as if he was blaming his brother.

“My brother died helping me escape the sea cave.” When she didn’t appear surprised, he narrowed his gaze at her. With a small shrug, she nodded toward the girls working their way through the croquet course.

“Ainslie said she’d promised never to go near them. She’d told me it had something to do with her uncle, but she didn’t tell me what.” The reply made him jerk his head in acknowledgement.

“I’ve nae told her or Grace what happened, only that my brother died there. It’s why the thought of Ainslie alone on the beach that day alarmed me so much. She is too much like Thane.”

“I think any child being alone on the beach would be enough to scare anyone. I know how dangerous the water can be.”

Fear flashed in her gaze as if she were remembering her own battle to survive the North Sea. He nodded and turned back to where he saw Ainslie laughing at her sister. Iain remembered similar moments where he’d feared for his brother, almost as much as he did for his youngest daughter.

“My brother was three years older than me, and there was nae anything he could nae do well. But swimming was his true gift. Even when Thane did something incredibly reckless, my father never hid how proud he was of my brother.”

Iain paused for a moment as he remembered the day Thane swam out past the rocks at the opening of the inlet. He remembered standing on the edge of the rocks jutting out into the sea, shouting at Thane to come back. When his brother had finally turned around, he’d made it back to the beach safely, but had collapse onto the sand afterward.

It had taken a great deal of restraint for Iain not to pummel his brother for being so reckless. If there was one thing he did better than Thane, it was boxing. But he’d known his father would punish him, and not Thane, for fighting.

Worst of all, he’d idolized and admired his brother’s boldness just as much as their father had. It was why he’d dismissed his brother’s warning not to enter the sea cave that tragic afternoon. He closed his eyes for a moment before his gaze settled on Ainslie’s tall figure. How much she reminded him of his brother. Iain glanced at Madeline who was patiently waiting for him to continue. He drew in another breath.

“But the day he died was different. Thane had told me the cave was dangerous. He said nae even he would go into the cave.” Iain’s throat closed as he remembered how he’d deliberately waited until the water was deep enough for him to swim into the cave rather than walk inside. “I dinnae believe him. I knew Thane was nae afraid of anything, and I thought he was simply trying to stop me from doing something he’d done.”

“Did your brother see you swim into the cave?”

“Aye, Thane was on top of the outcrop of rocks, and shouted at me nae tae go in. I dinnae listen tae him. By the time I reached the deepest part of the cavern, I knew I’d made a mistake and had misjudged the timing of the tide.” The knot swelling in his throat threatened his source of air just as the sea had done that dark day.

“You must have been terrified,” Madeline whispered. Iain jerked his head in silent confirmation.

“The deepest part of the cave has a wide ledge ye can stand on. I had tae jump across a riptide pool tae reach it. I thought I could jump back, but I was wrong.”

The memory of how he’d slipped on the wet stone as he’d leapt across the pool to reach the ledge sent a chill sliding through Iain. Almost falling into the riptide pool had been a horrifying experience. It was the primary reason he was to blame for Thane’s death. He’d been too scared to jump back across the dangerous section of water. Unable to move, he’d simply stood frozen on the ledge. It was a visceral image that made a layer of ice form over his skin, and Iain clenched his jaw at the cold sensation holding him in its grip.

“By the time Thane reached me, I was in a state of panic. It took my brother several minutes tae convince me tae climb along the cavern wall tae reach the other side. By the time I reached my brother, the water was rising quickly. Thane told me there was enough air for us tae make it almost tae the entrance of the cave without having tae swim underwater, but he was wrong.”

Iain dragged in a deep breath of air as he remembered trying to swim those last few feet out of the cave. A warm, feminine hand covered his again, and he shuddered at Madeline’s touch. His father had been right to blame him for Thane’s death. If he’d not gone into the cave, his brother would still be alive.

Madeline sat silently with her hand covering his as he remembered those terrifying moments swimming down the cavern’s dark passageway. Not even the airholes the sea had carved out of the cave’s ceiling, some almost as large as his fists, had offered any hope of air.

The sea didn’t just rise inside the cave when the tide came it. It sent waves crashing over the top of the cavern itself to fill the holes with hard streams of water. Dragging in another deep breath, Iain stared straight in front of him, only seeing the darkness and the water.

“Thane made me go first because he could hold his breath longer than I could. He was right behind me, encouraging me nae tae stop until the moment the cave was completely filled with water. I only had tae swim a short distance tae reach the surface, and I was jubilant when I saw the top of Thane’s head. But when I saw him floating face down in the water, I realized the worst had happened.”

Iain bowed his head as guilt and sorrow became an invisible vise tightening around his chest until it felt as if a heavy stone was resting on his chest. Madeline didn’t speak, she simply squeezed his hand again in a comforting manner. After several long moments, her soft voice drifted through the air.

“You were a child, Iain. We all make stupid mistakes and choices when we’re children.” The gentle note in the words made him shudder.

“A child who knew the cave was dangerous, but all I wanted tae do was show my brother that I was nae afraid tae be as daring as him.”

Madeline didn’t reply, she simply sat with her hand covering his in mute understanding. The sudden, sharp pain splitting through his head made him grimace. A moment later, the sound of the girls running toward him, made Madeline jerk away from him, and in seconds, the twins were standing breathlessly in front of them.

“Faither, are ye all right?” Ainslie’s voice was filled with concern as she lowered her head to peer at his features.

“Do ye have another migraine, Faither?” Grace touched his shoulder, her voice echoing her sister’s worry. Iain tried to shake his head. The action made him clench his jaw tight.

“It’s only a slight headache, lass,” he murmured. The response caused another jolt of pain to lash its way through his head. Beside him, Madeline must have seen his grimace of discomfort. She uttered a noise of annoyance and sprang to her feet.

“Grace, go prepare one of your poultices and send Angus if you see him. Ainslie and I will help your father back to the house after I try to ease some of his pain.”

The soft sound of Madeline’s voice filled his ears as she dispensed her commands and circled the bench to stand behind him. Without hesitating, Grace dropped her mallet to run toward the manor. Behind him, Madeline’s fingers applied pressure to the spot above the bridge of his nose. There was a modicum of relief, and after a minute, her fingers pressed into the side of his temples.