Page 65 of The Vow

My palms moistened. “We?”

“Yeah. Brenda, the kids. You almost sound sane. How are you feeling health-wise?”’

“Whole.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means that I’m not defined by this chair.”

“Well, it’s a bloody Christmas miracle! That’s the Pip I know and love.”

Her name was on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t say it. She was the first thing I thought about in the morning, the last thing I thought about at night, and the only thing I thought about every waking second in between.

“How’s Brenda?”

“She’s not here.”

“I didn’t think she was. I was just asking how...”

“I know you better than you know yourself and who you really want to ask about is Alex. She’s not here, brother. But I know where she is. I can drive you.”

Lights dotted the exterior of the building, artificial light that was pouring through small, thick, square windows. The mausoleum was unwelcoming to strangers who had lost their faith, and not even Alex’s crucifix that I was wearing made me feel like I had permission to enter.

Nick turned off the van’s engine and faced me with one arm draped over the steering wheel. “It’s her wedding anniversary today.”

“You’ve become close.”

“Yeah. I made nice with the fire-breathing dragon,” he said, smirking. “You good? You want me to come with you?”

I’ve dreamed about this moment for months. Thoughts of reuniting with her was the only thing that kept me going, but maybe that’s all it was meant to be – a fantasy.

“No,” I said, staring blankly outside the passenger side window.

“Hey. Look at me. You know that I wouldn’t bring you here if I thought she didn’t want to see you.”

“You think she wants to see me?” Sweat was trickling down my back. It was an unusual place for a romantic rendezvous.

“I’m no Romeo, but I live with a wife and two mini versions of her. I think I’ve gotten pretty good at reading a woman’s mind.”

“Help me into my chair.”

“At your service.”

Nick slipped several times before managing to wheel me up to the glass doors of the mausoleum. Inside, the lighting was harsh and severe, like the hospital, and did nothing to help mask a person’s expression, but I wanted to be exposed. I wanted Alex to know every raw detail.

“How do I look?”

“Like a fighter. I’ll park the van so it’s facing the doors. I’ll wait for you there. You got this, buddy.”

As Nick was about to pull on the door, a caretaker that looked like he could be Cable’s brother let us in. “You’re just in time. I was about to lock up for the night.”

“Is... anyone else in there?”

“There’s a lot of people in there, son. Not all of them breathing. Do you need me to help you?”

“Thanks, but I’ll drive.” I smiled, and it was genuine.

Pop and ma were buried outside under traditional headstones. Other than seeing a mausoleum as a setting in a movie, I have never been inside one. There wasn’t a speck of dust in the place, and the only sound was that of my wheels as they spun and my labored breathing. It was difficult not to notice the names on various resting places. Long-married couples were buried side-by-side. Children who barely had a chance to live had left this world too soon, and somewhere in this place, a young man named Simon had company tonight.