Page 113 of Crease Collision

“Aren’t you surprised?” I ask.

He squeezes my hand. “No, because I’ve known for a while.”

The back of my neck tingles. “How?”

“In September, after you disappeared on me, I looked you up on the web. I told you that, remember?”

“How could I forget?”

“One of the things I read was the Wikipedia article about you. It says you’ve talked about being neurodivergent.”

“The fuck?” My voice is sharper than I mean it to be. “Why didn’t you tell me you knew?”

“Because I was afraid you’d think I was attacking you somehow.”

“Why would I have thought that?”

He raises his eyebrows as if the question surprises him. “You’re sensitive about things, and before you read into that, it’s something else I like about you. A lot of guys try to act like they have no emotions. You don’t.”

“Okay.”

“It was yours to tell me, Kai. It only has to do with us as much as you want it to.”

I want to argue, but what about? He’s right. Especially considering everything from my past, I probably wouldn’t have taken it well if he’d told me. Still, there’s a question burning in my mind. “What did you think when you found out about me?”

“Gunnar was neurodivergent. He was one of the best people I’ve ever known, so when I learned that about you, I understood a few things better. That’s all.”

His words hang in the air between us. He’s known since September, but no one could have treated me better than he has. We’ve had some great times, but he was also good to me every time I panicked. Even when I pulled away. He hasn’t left, and now he’s sitting here worried I’ll be mad at him.

“You know what was hard?” he asks.

“What?”

“Since last August, I’ve never doubted that you care about me. Not when you disappeared in September or when you canceled our plans so you could hang out with your friends. Even lately, as strange as things have been between us, I’ve known you cared.”

My stomach clenches so hard I can barely whisper, “Ozzy…”

He shakes his head. “Even though I knew that, I kept feeling you leave. You didn’t go physically, but there was glass between us. I could see you, but I couldn’t reach you.”

I let out a long sigh. “I know. I kept telling myself I wasn’t doing that, but I was.” Forcing myself not to look away, I go on. “I hurt you, and I’m so sorry about that.”

For a moment, neither of us says anything. Then Ozzy squeezes my hand. “Thank you.”

I blink. “For what?”

“For finally letting me in.”

The words sink in, heavy and warm. I’ve built barricades around my heart for years. Tonight, they’ve fallen apart. I came here knowing what I felt, and now I’m even more certain of it.

“Ozzy…” My voice is trembling. “I said I don’t want to lose you, but it’s more than that. I love you. I’m so much in love with you.”

The words are out. I wouldn’t take them back if I could. Yet the room remains silent except for the sound of the dripping tap in the kitchen. I watch his face, certain I’ve gotten it all wrong, that I’ve been too much for him at last.

Tears fill his eyes, then roll down his cheeks. “Jag älskar dig, hjärtat. I love you too.”

The certainty in his words loosens the knot in my chest.

“I have for a while,” he says. “Even when things got difficult.”