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I blinked. "That's like asking if Hannibal Lecter has a grudge against his victims. It's simply… my sire enjoyed playing with toys."
"But you escaped. You aren't with the clan, are you?" She stared right through me and I got the feeling she was reading more than I wanted her to. "Just what did he do to you?"
I debated. Could she handle it? She was a vampire, true, but she still had that gentle side to her that had won her a whole passel of friends during life.
"You know," she said, leaning back on the divan where she was sitting as she dangled one diamond-studded wrist over the back. "I have my own secrets. If they'd have gotten out while I was alive, they could have destroyed my place in society. Especially when I was a teenager in the late sixties."
Not sure where she was going with this, I cocked my head. "Really?"
She nodded. "Oh my, yes. For me, the sixties were an era of parties and sororities and finishing schools. The unrest of the youth culture passed me by, much to my parents' relief. They bundled me off to a finishing school in France, sure that I'd come home the perfect, proper young socialite ready to take her place in society."
"And did you?"
She gave me a slow smile and I realized just how stunning she must have been when she was young. She was still a beauty, but the bloom of youth must have added a striking flourish to her looks.
"What my parents didn't realize is that during those last two years in France, I discovered that I prefer… the company of women. Thanks to a wonderful girl named Claudine. I realized that I'm a lesbienne, as Claudine put it. We had a torrid affair for ten months, and then fought over something—I don't remember what. I was devastated. Claudine left me and I finished up school and returned home." Sassy motioned to the walls and the ceiling. "And this, this is where I ended up."
Delilah had mentioned something about Sassy making a pass at her but I thought that had started after she'd been turned, not before. "But you were married for years and years…"
"Oh yes," Sassy said. "I was married, and Johan was a lovely man. He took care of me and I looked good on his arm at parties and dinner functions. I stood behind him, put my money and family name behind him. He rose in the world of medicine and made sure that I never wanted for anything. He had a few affairs, but then, so did I. We were both discreet. And then, he retired, and three months later, he died." Her eyes clouded over with tears, bloodred, and she blinked them away.
"Did you love him?" I asked, caught up in her story.
She thought about it for a moment. "Yes, I believe I did. But not in the way one has passion for a lover. I loved him because he was a good man, he respected me, and he never embarrassed me. When he died I thought, Perhaps now I can come out of the closet—reveal myself for who I really am. But then I looked around at my friends. They're wonderful people, but set in their ways, and I knew… I knew that if I told them the truth, they'd leave me."
"I see." And I did. If her friends deserted her, she'd have no one to turn to. She'd had one daughter, who died young from a drowning accident. Most of Sassy's own family was probably dead by now.
"Well, it didn't matter so much at first. I had finally made the decision to disrupt my life, shake things up a little. I thought about moving to Soho or San Francisco. But then one night I met Takiya at a party. He was handsome, and suave. I thought he just wanted a friend, and when he called, he sounded lonely so I invited him over for dinner. I had no idea I was on the menu."
She raised her head, a rueful smile on her lips. "He'd fallen for me and turned me into a vampire to keep me with him. I was horrified. The irony, though, is that two nights after I rose, someone staked Takiya. He vanished in a puff of ash, and now I have to face eternity alone."
"Who staked him?" I had a sneaking suspicion of the answer.
With a toothy grin, she said, "I did. I had just started figuring out how to spend the rest of my life in the open, to be who I really am, and he went and screwed it up." She cocked her head. "Do you know why I'm telling you all of this?"
At my bewildered shake of the head, she laughed. "I thought not. I told you my story for two reasons. One: If I tell you my secrets, you'll know that you can tell me yours. Sharing builds trust, Menolly. And the second reason… I don't approve of siring others. Not unless they beg for it, not unless they're dying and they ask you for help and you know—you absolutely know—they won't regret it. Whoever's attacking these poor people has to be stopped. It's bad enough to bleed them dry, but to raise them into the life against their will? That's unconscionable."
As she spoke, I began to sense her strength, the will behind her words. I gazed into her eyes and thought, Here's a woman who understands what it means to stand up for a cause you believe in. She'd staked her own sire—an invitation to disaster if any of his other children of blood were in the area.
"Wade and the V.A. group are the only reasons I haven't walked out into the daylight," she added. "He gives me hope. Maybe we can't stop vampirism from spreading, but maybe we can put a dent in the violence and bloody mess it causes. We can't deny our natures, but we can control them."
I leaned back, positive that she had nothing to do with the murders. "I take it that you haven't heard anything that would lead you to suspect any local vamps who might be doing this?"
"The sun is due to rise in an hour or so. You'd better get along home." She rose and rang the bell to summon Janet. "It's well known that I staked Takiya. I sincerely doubt if I'll ever be privy to any secrets from other vampires. I'll keep my ears open, though. And do a little snooping. I still have a few contacts in the right places."
I took the hint and rose, heading toward the foyer. "Thanks, Sassy."
At the door, I paused, my hand on the knob. Without looking back, I said, "Dredge tortured me until I went mad. First, he used his fingernails and a small dull knife to lacerate every inch of my body except my hands, feet, and face. He worked slowly, millimeter by millimeter. Then he raped me until I thought I was going to die from the bitter chill of his flesh. After that, Dredge slit his wrist and forced me to drink. When I rose, he sent me home to feed on my family."
Behind me, Sassy gasped.
"Some secrets are better left secrets," I said. "But you asked. I want you to understand just what kind of monsters we're up against. Are you game? Will you help us if we need you?"
"You can count on me," she murmured.
I nodded before closing the door behind me. First light wasn't far off, and it was time to sleep.
CHAPTER 8
