Page 59 of Ashborne: Defiance

“No. Not now. I’m not talking about it.”

‘We’ve spoken before about the ways the Creator brings us people and events to peel back the curtain on our hearts,’ he continued—too kindly. It set my teeth.

‘I said, no!’ I scowled at him. ‘I don’t have the energy to deal with this fight. I’m not wrestling with those demons as well. Not now. One problem at a time, please.’

Kham snorted. ‘Finding your mate isn’t a problem. It’s a gift.’

‘Would you please stop referring to her—’

‘You wish me to lie?’

‘No! I want you on my side!’

Kham turned his head and met my eyes without a word, and the clouds in that beautiful gaze, the wave of hurt that reached me in the bond made me ashamed.

‘I’m sorry,’ I conceded. ‘I didn’t mean that.’

‘Yes, you did. But I forgive you. This presses you to your limit. No one understands that better than me. But you have two choices: To endure. Or to surrender. Anything else will break you.’

‘Then I’ll endure.’

He sighed heavily. ‘I really believed you would see the truth.’

‘I have. That’s why I’m resisting.’

He shook his head, then his whole body, like a massive dog. It was dragon-speak for releasing tension. He pointed his nose in the direction Grace and Koa had disappeared and started to walk—slowly, but without looking back. ‘To deny a matebond is akin to denying the Creator Himself,’ he sent softly. ‘Think carefully about this choice, Voski. Very carefully.’

‘If we couldn’t deny it, there would be no need to accept it in the first place,’ I argued as I followed him.

‘I said nothing of being unable to deny a bond. You can do anything you set your stubborn will to.’

I shot him a look. ‘You always talk about my free will, and how you won’t play God—’

‘I am not the one attempting to play God.’

That blow landed. But as I scrambled for a response, some way to make him see how impossible this was, Kham turned his long neck and looked me in the eye again. ‘The choice is yours,’ he sent reluctantly. ‘But the consequence of that also belongs to you. If you choose to deny, it leaves you no room for anger at her, or cruelty in your treatment of her. You are a leader of men—and women, now. You must take responsibility for the choice no one else has made for you, and act like it. And for the Creator’s sake—do so in courage and honesty. Tell her the correct name. Tell her about the bond and why you reject it. Own your decisions.’

Then he walked on, leaving me to follow in his dust, and think on his words.

And the truth was, I couldn’t disagree.

I didn’t know how the fuck to do it. But he was right. It was the only choice.

I just needed to get her back to Vosgaarde as quickly as possible. Then I could pass her off to whoever was her actual leader.

I took a deep breath as I imagined handing her over to someone else. And even though that mental image pinched, I nodded. That was the answer.

I’d distract myself with something useful. What I’d done dozens of times: Train her as I would any male Flameborne. Then put her in the capable hands of whoever her wing leader would be, already half-prepared for her own success.

I had no doubt that she and Koa would be Acknowledged. My squad sister, Bren, was already a pinned Furyknight. Grace wouldn’t be rejected.

Endure. Kham’s words echoed in my head. Endure, or surrender.

There was really only one choice.

21. A Soldier’s Life

~ GRACE ~