Page 38 of Coming Clean

“Connor, I don’t care whoyou sleep with, and I’m insulted that after a year of us knowingeach other you would think I do. But I’m pissed as hell that I’vebeen trying to set you up with women for over a year and you didn’tbother to tell me you’d rather have someone with adick.”

“I do—”

She held up her hand. “Ifyou’re not going to be honest with me, don’t say anything. I willnot tolerate anyone lying to me when I haven’t eaten allday.”

Connor opened the box ofCheez-Its and held out a handful. “I’m sorry.”

“That I’ve beensick?”

“No, that I lied toyou.”

“You don’t have to say anymore if you’re not ready,” Sabrina said, popping the crackers inher mouth.

“He gave me a blow job andI freaked.”

Sabrina spat the crackersacross the couch. “Holy shit!”

“Are you okay?” Connorasked when the coughing fit lasted more than a fewseconds.

“No, I’m not okay. You justwent from stoic to TMI in point five seconds. How can you expect meto be okay?”

Connor looked away, heatrising up his neck and into his face. “I didn’t really mean to saythat out loud.”

“ Aren’t you capable ofthinking before you speak?” she asked. “Didn’t you and my brotherrun black ops over there?”

“Good thing Jeremy wasn’tthere to mess with my mind then, huh?”

“Yeah, a damn good thing.And wow! I’m still reeling from what you just said.”

The impact of what he’ddone to Jeremy hit Connor all over again. He ran a hand through hishair. “I really screwed up.”

“Um… I want to contradictyou but…”

He shook his head. “Youcan’t make this better.”

Tilting her head to theside, Sabrina gave him a thoughtful look. “Maybe not, but why don’tyou start from the beginning? And I don’t mean Jeremy on his knees.I mean the start of this attraction.”

“The first time I saw him,”Connor said.

“What about it?”

“That’s when itstarted.”

She nodded. “This gay thingisn’t new, is it? Jeremy didn’t use poetry to turn you to the darkside?”

Connor glared at her, notready to find any humor in his situation. “No. I’ve…” Was he stillgoing to try to deny it? “I’ve always liked men.”

“And acted on that‘liking’? She said the last word in a tone that showed she thoughtit was sadly inadequate.

“Only insecret.”

“You know you don’t have todo that anymore, right? This is Asheville, not theMarines.”

“It’s not thatsimple.”

Sabrina didn’t actually say“bullshit” but she might as well have. “So you both threw longingglances at each other, and then he showed up with your forgottenbag and offered to suck you off?”

Connor rubbed his hand overhis face. Why the hell had he told her that? Desperation? “You’re never gonnalet me live that down, are you?”