Page 86 of Coming Clean

“Jeremy fucked up by nottelling you about the job offer. I told him he needed to do someserious groveling, but his mistake shouldn’t be a dealbreaker.”

“Lying isn’t a dealbreaker? Then what is?” Connor knew it was wrong to pretend Jeremywas solely to blame for things falling apart but he couldn’t bringhimself to tell Sabrina what he’d done.

She glared at him. “He didnot lie to you.”

Connor wanted to argue, butfinally, after a stare-down he said, “Fine, but he deliberatelykept something from me that affected our relationship. Whatdifference does it make if we end things now or when hemoves?”

Sabrina narrowed her eyes.“Did he tell you he’s taking the job?”

“No.” Dammit, why did shealways see through his smoke screens?

“Then maybe you should talkto him about it.”

“I did.”

Sabrina’s raised brows madeher disbelief clear. “Did you really talk and try to understand hisperspective?”

“What’s to understand? Ifell in love with him and he doesn’t even care enough about me totell me about a major life decision.” Heat rose in Connor’s facewhen he realized what he’d said. “I… Oh, fuck.” He turned away, hisstomach flip-flopping. Why had he let Sabrina know how pathetic hereally was?

She squeezed his shoulder.“Have you considered that maybe Jeremy was scared?”

Connor shook his head, nottrusting his voice to work around the lump that had formed in histhroat.

Sabrina massaged hisshoulders. He hadn’t realized how tight he was. “Maybe he’s notsure how you feel. Somehow I doubt you’ve told him what you justtold me.”

“Of course, I haven’tfucking told him.” Apparently his voice worked, afterall.

“No, why would you dosomething so silly as admit you really care so that he can stopbeing afraid you’re going to panic and walk away?”

“Walk away? I wasn’t…. Youreally think he thought that?”

“He’s put pressure on youto come out, coaxed you into watching Shakespeare plays, going tofaculty awards banquets, and no telling what else. Of course he’sscared you’ll decide he’s not what you want.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Howcould Jeremy think Connor, or anyone else, wouldn’t wanthim?

“David said—”

“Fuck David.”

Sabrina laughed. “He’d likethat, but he knows there’s no chance.”

“Jeremy has a right to wantto have a relationship that doesn’t involve sneaking around ornever leaving the house. Everyone does.”

“Including you,” Sabrinapointed out.

If only it were as simpleas that. “I thought so. Now, I’m not so sure.”

“Call my brother. Today. Donot put it off anymore.”

Connor turned to faceSabrina, anger pulsing through him. “How can I help him if he won’ttalk to me anymore?”

Sabrina wasn’t daunted byhim yelling at her. She gave it right back. “How can you help Marioif you can’t heal yourself?”

“I don’t—” He cut himselfoff. Saying he didn’t need healing was absurd. He knew that and sodid Sabrina.

“Connor, you have to stopliving for him.”

If only he could make herunderstand. “I’m alive because of him.”