Page 39 of Sweet Heart

I squeeze my eyes closed and let out a soft groan as I realize what just happened. I shake my head and look back up at her. She really is a little witch, una bruja, holding me captive with her spell.

“Coffee, please. If it’s not too much trouble.”

“Why would I ask if it were?”

She flashes me that obnoxious grin of hers before turning toward the counter. I take a deep breath and fight the urge to twist her back around. What have I gotten myself into? This woman knows how to push every single one of my buttons and enjoys doing so. Why am I taking it? How is it that she gets away with it? Gosh, Carmen will have a field day if she finds out.

The thought of my best friend hurls me back into reality. My gut tightens, and I take in a shaky breath. Mary instantly twists around, her eyes on me. They are wide with worry, and she is already moving toward me. I push down the tight squeeze of panic, and I find myself exhaling again.

“What’s wrong?”

Her eyes scan my face for any trace of what is happening. I close my eyes and shake my head. No. I am not going to do this again. Not with her. The thought of losing her again…

“I don’t want to hide you.”

She frowns at me, cocking her head slightly as if I were some sort of apex predator.

“Okay,” she says hesitantly.

“My whole life is centered on my career. Every choice I make, I make to serve my future as a trauma surgeon. I am ambitious, driven—”

“Calculated?”

Her question startles me, and I lift my chin slightly in defiance. She isn’t wrong. Not really. But to hear it from her lips almost makes it obscene. I open my mouth to deflect but stop when I see her frown. ¡Joder! If I can’t be open with her now, what chance do we have?

“Yes.”

She nods once, pursing her lips in thought.

“I don’t want to be. Not when it comes to you.”

“Meaning?” she asks quietly, her eyes holding mine.

“Meaning that I want to hold your hand, take you out to dinner, and smile at your 3 a.m. texts.” I pause to take a breath. “Meaning I don’t want to panic when you visit the hospital.”

She nods slowly, allowing me to form my thoughts into a coherent sentence.

“A part of me fights that feeling,” I continue carefully.

She flinches so slightly that I almost miss it. It’s a subtle twitch at the corner of her eye, but it’s there. Gone in a flash, her face betraying nothing of what might have just gone through her mind. I instantly reach for her hand, and she blinks down when my fingers wrap around hers, as if it were the last thing she expected.

“Maria,” I exhale softly.

I quietly beg her to look back up at me, but when she does, her eyes betray nothing. And that scares me more than anything else. It’s a mystery what goes on behind those eyes, beneath that mask. I can’t read her, not yet. But I need her to understand, to see what I mean.

“I want this. I want you.” My breathing is shallow now. “But can we take it slow? So that my brain can build new neural pathways?”

She continues to stare at me in utter silence. One beat, two beats. I feel a storm rising in my chest, and my throat starts to constrict. Is it too much for her? I’ve never done this before. Except for Carmen, my professional life and my private life have never mixed. It will take me some time to get used to that. To having a person in my life who wants to bring me coffee while I am at work. I won’t be perfect, she needs to know that. Don’t let it be too much, por favor.

Just as I open my mouth, she speaks. Her voice is soft but holds a clarity that surprises me.

“You are willing to change that for me?”

I nod. If I speak now, my voice will betray me. Mary’s eyes flick back and forth over my face as if she is debating something. She squints them slightly before they soften and meet mine.

“Then we take whatever time you need. Starting now.”

The storm in my chest settles when I look at her. That same open smile as before wraps around me like safety. The pull in my chest feels even stronger now, and I can’t help but dip my gaze to her lips for a beat. She exhales, and I see her eyes flash darkly.