Page 53 of Sweet Heart

“Wow,” I breathe, and Cat answers with a low, pleased chuckle.

When she slides back next to me, I lower my arm to look at her. Instead of the smug grin I expected, I see something warmer, softer. Her eyes are on me. The edges are crinkled upward slightly, just like the corners of her lips.

She lifts her hand but hesitates for a moment. It is only a fraction of a second, but I see it happen. Her fingers hover in the air, tips curling inward, before she moves to brush a strand of hair behind my ear.

“Wow, huh?” she chuckles again, regaining some of her composure.

It feels like something breaks inside my chest. Not for me, but for her. After what she just gave me, what she just showed me, for her not to trust that this goes both ways…

I wrap my hands around her face and kiss her harder than I should. My fingers brush the nape of her neck while my thumbs rest against her jawline. Cat startles, and her body goes rigid under my touch before she softens and snakes her arms around me. She pulls me closer. She has one hand warm against the small of my back, and the other cradling my head.

I can’t bear to part just yet. It is as if I pour all of the emotion into this kiss so that it seeps out between our lips. As if it is yelling at her, ‘not here, not with me.’ I need her to know that. I need her to feel safe with me. Wanted by me, exactly as she is.

Cat must have felt the shift because she tightens her hold on me. She breathes shakily into my mouth before breaking away and pressing her forehead against mine. I feel her jaw work under my fingertips when she swallows, and she lets out a soft sigh.

“Hey?” she murmurs. “Are you okay?”

She slowly opens her eyes and leans back a bit to study me. Her mouth is pressed into a thin line, and there is a worried crease wrinkling her forehead. I can’t help but huff out a soft laugh. Not because it is funny, but because I need to release the tension.

I smooth out the crease with my thumb and press a warm kiss against the skin. Soft and reverent this time. I hope it shows her the truth of this moment, of how real this is, so I nod.

“Very okay.”

I huff another soft laugh, and Cat lets out a deep sigh. The muscles in her arms shift, and I realize she’s been tensing them this whole time. Oh, no. God, no.

“Are you?”

Cat’s eyes widen at that, and surprise flickers behind her eyes.

“Am… am I?”

I nod and smile before closing the small distance between us and pressing a small kiss to the corner of her lips.

“Mm-hm,” I hum and then lean back again to look at her.

“Claro que sí, estoy bien. Tú eres el—”

I blink at her and lean back even more, uncertain how to respond. Cat notices the hesitation on my face and instantly stops speaking. Her eyes scan my face rapidly, but I don’t have answers. Only questions. The confusion on her face grows when the realization of what happened dawns on her.

“I… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s all right. You are safe here,” I whisper while running my thumb over her jaw. “Can you tell me what happened, though?”

There is a flicker of doubt before her cheeks color lightly, and she lets out a brittle laugh. Her face is softer than I’ve ever seen it before, and she almost looks smaller when she picks at the duvet. In this moment, Cat is completely bare in front of me, stripped of all her masks. And what I see is so beautiful that I forget how to blink.

“I, uh…” She lowers her eyes, frantically searching for the words. “My brain still… it switches to Spanish when I…” She bites her lip and raises her eyes. “…when I am overwhelmed or nervous.”

Her voice is threaded with such a light vulnerability that it’s barely noticeable. The way she lifts her chin and rolls back her shoulders while she tries to be brave almost masks it. But the light in which she says it touches it just right, and I can clearly see it woven in like a strand of fine-spun gold.

“Do I make you nervous?”

I ask the words lightly while gliding my fingers over her arm. Her soft skin is supple under my touch, and I hear her lips part at the light contact. Or maybe at the question. I am not entirely sure.

“A little,” she lets out on a breath. “In a good way.”

It comes out so compressed that it seems heavy. It’s not. It’s reverent. I look at her with wide eyes, and she stares back at me with such openness that it tugs right underneath my rib cage. Yes, now you are really here with me.

“Okay.”