Page 138 of Say My Name

“I’m not asking the contract.”

“It does define the purpose of the arrangement.”

“After everything between us, am I still only a donor and co-parent to you?”

Her mouth opens, and I can hear the clock on the wall ticking in the silence. I give her the time. More than enough for her to find an honest word.

She could tell me she’s afraid. She could tell me she doesn’t know how to imagine a shared home yet. She could give me the same uncertain answer she gave me a month ago, and I would at least know she sees something worth being afraid of losing.

Instead, she looks toward the table and the closed laptop.

“The agreement establishes you as the child’s legal father with equal parental rights and responsibilities,” she says quietly. “The method of conception doesn’t alter the enforceability of those terms.”

Her silence answers me before the legal language does.

My patience finally runs out.

“I wanted you,” I say. “I never wanted an arrangement.”

Elena turns from the counter. “You proposed the arrangement.”

“Because it was the only way you would let me get close.”

“That isn’t fair.”

“It’s the truth.”

“You agreed to every term.”

“I would’ve agreed to twice as many if that was what it took for you to choose me.” The admission hangs in the air between us, stark and a little reckless. I see her process it as her face tightens.

“You can’t sign a contract while secretly expecting me to want something else.”

“I didn’t expect you to feel anything you didn’t feel. I hoped you would eventually stop hiding what you do feel.”

“You don’t get to decide that for me.”

“So you’re telling me seven months of this means less than eleven pages we signed before I ever touched you.”

“That isn’t what I said.”

“Then correct me.”

She wraps her arms around herself, a gesture of self-protection I know too well. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

All I feel is tired. “The truth would be a start.”

“I am telling you the truth.”

“You’re giving me the safest answer.”

Her gaze flashes. “Safety matters to me.”

“I know it does.”

“Then why are you acting like I’m wrong for needing it?”

“Your job is safe. Your financial independence is safe. If you’re pregnant now, your rights as this child’s mother are safe. I would never threaten any of those things to get what I want from you.”