Page 14 of Say My Name

The thought is possessive and unreasonable, but it’s lodged in my mind. There’s no rationalizing my way out of this.

I don’t only want a child, I want a family and someone to build that life with. I want Elena to choose me to be that for her.

The realization should be enough to make me cancel dinner. It should send me back to the three reasons I’ve used for four years and remind me that Cliff trusts me, Elena works for me, and wanting her doesn’t make acting on it acceptable.

Instead, I pick up my jacket.

I tell myself I’m taking her to dinner because it’s her birthday and our work anniversary. I’m going to ask a few careful questions because she shouldn’t have to make a decision this large without anyone knowing.

I won’t pressure her. I won’t interfere. I won’t cross a line.

The explanation sounds perfectly reasonable until I catch my reflection in the window.

I’m jealous of a man who doesn’t exist yet.

And I already know I’m not going to stand quietly by while she chooses him.

CHAPTER 3

Elena

By six twenty, the Chicago Cryo Clinic binder is locked in the bottom drawer of my desk, my laptop is packed, and I have spent the last forty minutes pretending I’m not about to have dinner with a man who now knows I’m shopping for sperm.

The past forty minutes have been a master class in pretending to be a normal person.

Maya appears in my doorway with her purse over her shoulder and looks around my office.

“What are you looking for?”

“Evidence that you’re planning to escape through a window.”

“We’re on the thirty-eighth floor.”

“Which is the only reason I’m not checking behind the curtains.”

I slide a folder into my bag. “It’s dinner. We do this every year.”

“Right. Your very professional birthday dinner with your very professional billionaire boss.”

“It’s also my work anniversary.”

“That makes it sound even more romantic.”

I give her a look. Maya has been my assistant for two years and one of my closest work friends for almost as long, which is why she’s standing here, treating my office like a suggestion box for my love life.

“I still think you should let me find you a date,” she says. “A real one. Someone with no ties to your employer or your brother.”

“I don’t need you to find me anyone.”

“Fine. Find him yourself. Go meet the Mr. Big Dick of your dreams and give me something interesting to discuss over lunch.”

My hand stops on the zipper of my bag.

The name is different. Close enough, though.

A bridesmaid’s phone at Cliff’s wedding. A woman under Dominic, moaning his name while he drove into her. The few seconds I watched after I understood exactly what was happening. Then the laughter when someone called him Big D ...and a gleeful explanation for the nickname.

Maya leans forward. “Oh my God.”