Page 145 of Say My Name

“Then you should’ve fought harder.” The childish, desperate part of me wanted him to tear down the walls I kept building.

The accusation is out before I can stop it.

Dominic becomes very still. “Fought harder.”

“Yes.”

“What exactly did you want me to do? Keep pushing after you retreated into the contract? Decide your boundaries didn’t matter because I knew what answer I wanted?”

“That isn’t what I meant.”

“Then explain it.”

I stand because I can’t have this conversation with him while I’m sitting behind my desk like this is another negotiation.

“I wanted you to make me believe it could work.”

“I’ve spent seven months trying.”

There is no hesitation in his answer.

He sets his jacket on the chair. His movements stay controlled, but the exhaustion in his voice betrays him.

“I agreed to every protection you asked for. I went to the clinic and every appointment after that. I gave you space and showed up every time you reached for me. I asked for time with you that had nothing to do with conception. Last night, I asked whether there was an us in the future you were planning, and you gave me the contract.”

“I panicked.” The admission is so quiet that I’m not sure he hears it until I see the flicker of understanding in his eyes.

“And I was supposed to know that meant yes?”

“No.” I wrap my arms around myself. “Maybe. I don’t know.”

A muscle jumps in his jaw.

I close my eyes. “I know that’s a terrible answer.”

“It’s the same answer.”

“I’m trying.”

“Are you?” His voice remains quiet. “You keep expecting me to translate what you can’t say. You want me to hear the no, recognize that you might mean yes, and keep pushing until you’re ready to admit it. I can’t do that to you.”

“You could help me say it.”

“I have tried to help you.” He grips the back of the chair, then releases it. “Every time I asked what was happening between us, you gave me enough truth to keep me there without choosing anything beyond the moment.”

“You make it sound calculated.”

“I think you’re scared. I don’t think you sat down and planned to hurt me.”

The gentleness is a current, pulling me under.

“You know what my ex did,” I say. “You know why this is difficult.”

“I do. I know a man you trusted called it compromise while you gave up pieces of yourself. I know loving someone gives them the power to leave.”

My breath catches at the word.

“I understand why you’re afraid, Elena.” My hand comes up to press against my sternum. “I’m done pretending your fear doesn’t cost me anything.”