Page 70 of Say My Name

“This morning isn’t about what I want,” I say, because telling her the truth right now would be another form of pressure.

“That’s an evasive answer.”

“Maybe.” I wait until she meets my eyes again. “I agreed to the clinic. I’ll be there if that’s still your choice.”

“It is.”

She answers quickly, then looks away.

I touch her fingers, and she turns her palm against mine. The memory of the couch hits all at once—the weight of her, the feel of her skin finally warm and unguarded against mine.

Elena pulls in a slow breath. “About Saturday.”

“You don’t owe me an explanation.”

“I wasn’t going to apologize again.”

“Good.”

“You also don’t get to decide what I was going to say.”

“Fair.”

Her thumb moves once against my skin. “I don’t regret asking you upstairs.”

I catch myself gripping her fingers and loosen my hold.

She looks down at our hands. “I regret that I can’t make today feel completely separate from it. The clinic was supposed to be the simple part.”

“Was it?”

She gives me a tired look. “This is why I reconsider telling you things.”

“Because I listen?”

“Because you find the argument someone is most attached to and keep pulling at it until it unravels.”

I let her go. “Then I won’t push.”

She doesn’t answer immediately.

“Stopping was your right,” I say. “It still is. Nothing about Saturday, or this, changes that. I’m not looking for an opening.”

“I know that.”

“I need you to know I do too.” I hold her gaze, making it a promise.

She looks down for a moment, then nods. “I do.”

I want to tell her the clinic felt wrong after having her in my arms. I haven’t stopped wanting the final step she refused, and part of my disappointment this morning comes from knowing another clinical procedure is already scheduled. I keep it to myself.

Elena straightens her shoulders. “We have the nine-thirty call.”

“Evan can move it.”

“I don’t want him to.”

“All right.”