Page 205 of Revv

“I still should’ve found a way to stop him.”

You tried.”

“But it wasn’t enough.”

“For me, it was.” Her voice cracks slightly, and when I finally look up, she’s closer now. “You keep talking like you failed me, but you were the only person in that house who kept trying. The adults failed us, Revel. You didn’t.”

My jaw locks so hard it aches.

Lena reaches for my forearm instead of my fucked-up hands, her fingers closing gently around the blackout ink.

“You were supposed to have somebody protecting you too.”

Fuck.

That lands somewhere I don’t have armor for and I turn my face away, blinking hard as my throat tightens. “Lena…”

“You didn’t fail me.”

“Don’t.” The word comes out rougher than I mean it to, and I shake my head, staring anywhere but at her. “Don’t fucking make me feel better about this right now.”

“I mean it.”

“You don’t have to thank me for any of that shit.”

“I’m going to anyway.”

I finally look at her, and the second I do, I wish I hadn’t because there’s a tear sliding down her cheek and that somehow hits harder than anything Travis ever said tonight.

“Thank you for always trying to keep me safe.”

“Fuck, Lena.”

I pull her into me before she can say anything else, wrapping both arms around her while she folds into my chest. For a second, the station disappears and all I can see is that shitty hallway, her door across from mine, me sitting on the floor with my back against the wall because I was too fucking scared to sleep.

Except, we’re not kids anymore.

She’s grown, I’m grown, and somehow, I’m still holding on like if I loosen my grip, I’m thirteen again and everything starts over.

“I’m sorry,” I mutter into her hair.

She pulls back enough to look up at me. “For what?”

“All of it. For not stopping him. For not getting us out sooner. For—”

“You didn’t do it, Revel.”

“I know.”

“And you didn’t let it happen either.”

My jaw tightens.

“Feels like I fucking did.”

“No.” Her voice sharpens enough to make me look at her properly. “You told people. You fought him. You stayed with me when every adult in that house should’ve been doing the protecting. Stop carrying the part that belongs to them.”

That shuts me up.