Page 42 of Once Bitten

“What are you talking about?”

“You know I was in love with you, and now you’re just using the same sentiment to excuse your behavior.”

“Have you lost your god damn fucking mind? I just told you I was in love with you for 10 years!”

“But you weren’t! I was the one in love with you!”

“Oh my god, you have lost your god damned fucking mind.” He pushed away from the wall, holding his head in his hands as if trying to make sense of the moment.

I was having the same problem. What the hell was going on? Why was he saying these things? The pounding in my ears was making his words warble in my head.

He came back and placed his hand on either side of my head, forcing me to look at him. “Listen to me, you crazy, infuriating woman, I, Finn O’Reilly, was so fucking crazy in love with you, I couldn’t even be in the same room with you for 5 minutes without losing my mind. When you agreed to go to prom with me, I couldn’t handle it. And I’d made a pact with myself that I was going to tell you how I felt about you even though I knew you were too good for me. So that night, I was so nervous around you, I could barely speak. So I drank. And I drank, and I drank. And I fucked it all up.” He stopped for a moment to drag the air into his lungs. “But Kara, trust me, baby, believe me, even if you don’t believe anything else in this universe, even if you don’t believe in the moon, the sky, the earth, even if you don’t believe in God, believe me when I tell you, I loved you from the moment I set eyes on you.”

Oh my God.

“Then...then why did you...?”

“I don’t know why I did any of it. I was weak and an idiot, too proud, too worried about my reputation, too afraid of you rejecting me.

And there you were, looking like an angel, letting me kiss you, something I’d waited a decade to do. I couldn’t control myself. I knew it was too fast, but by then I was too far gone. I couldn’t admit what an asshole I was being so...so I lied. I told you I didn’t want you, and even as I said the words, as soon as I saw the disappointment, the hurt, the disgust in your eyes, I could feel my own heart tearing apart in my chest. I had to get out of there as fast as I could.”

“Finn.” I didn’t have any other response. His words took me back to that moment 15 years ago, both of us sitting in his car, panting for breath from our first kiss; standing at a fork in the road, unaware that the next words out of his mouth would have us running down separate paths.

“I...I wish you’d said something. Instead of...you know.”

“Yes, I know. I wish I had too, I wish I’d said it by the bench that night, when I held you in my arms, dancing to the music of the breeze. It was the perfect moment.”

I couldn’t help but smile, remembering swaying to the music of time passing by, how I shivered in his arms, touched that he even remembered. “It was the most perfect moment of the night.” I agreed.

“No, Kara. It was the most perfect moment...ever.” He lifted my chin and I caught the glisten in his eyes just as he gently dropped his lips on mine.

Every time he kissed me, it was like it was the first time again. My mind went blank as every sense was focused on Finn’s lips against mine, his breath against my face, his cheek rough against my own. It was no wonder I’d never gotten close enough to any other man, nothing had ever compared to this. And maybe no one ever would. Maybe this was all I’d ever have of him, and maybe that would just have to be enough.

“No, Kara, I’m sorry,” Finn pulled away. “I didn’t mean to kiss you, I’m sorry, I told you, I can’t help myself around you.”

“Finn? Shut up.” I surprised us both with my words. “Just shut up and kiss me, you idiot.” I pulled on his shirt, reaching up on my tip toes and kissed him hard, crushing any protest dead on his lips and sucking the breath from his lungs. I wanted to feel at one with him, if this was the last memory of us I’d ever have.

“Oh god, Kara, sweet Kara,” he mumbled against my mouth. “God, I’ve missed you.” His hands were everywhere, in my hair, against my face, roaming my body. He slid his arms around my waist and pulled me in hard against him, my body conforming to every one of his curves.

“Finn.” I moaned, as he bent me back, his tongue on my bare neck, his lips on my pulse. I wanted him. There. Then.

I reached between us and fumbled with his zipper, the sound of the metal tab sliding down muted by the sound of our breaths.

I reached in and stroked him over the fabric of his briefs.

“Fuck, Kara...wh-?

“Shhhh. I want you, Finn. Right here, right now. In this moment and not caring about anything else. But if you don’t want this, then stop me.” I reached in further and ran my thumb over the tip of his hardness.

His breath hissed through his teeth as he undid his belt and popped open the button on his pants.

“Ohhh Kara, just...whatever you do, don’t stop touching me, baby.”

“I won’t,” I promised him, as I pulled his cock free from his briefs. He twitched at my touch as I wrapped my hand around him and squeezed, pulling him to his peak length.

His tongue was wet against my neck as he nuzzled me, his breath catching in his throat as I stroked him faster, his hand reaching under my skirt to graze over my sex. Why did it never feel like this with any other man? I thought, as my knees threatened to buckle as he started to probe me.

“Fuck. Kara, I told you, I can’t resist you, especially when you’re hot like this for me.”