Page 120 of Strum Me

She brushes the tears from my eyes and not for the first time I wonder if I’ll ever be as good a mother as she is.

***

After six grueling weeks, it’s finally time for Ben’s cast to come off. He seems subdued the entire ride to the hospital, cradling the cast as if he were going to miss it. Running his fingers along the words and pictures drawn to wish him well, he smiles as he comes to the figures that the band drew.

“Mommy, do you think I’ll be able to keep that cast?”

“Oh, um, I don’t know, honey. It might be a bit smelly. But maybe we can see if we can salvage at least some of it, okay?”

“I miss him.” We both know who he means.

“I know. I do too.”

“I wish he were here.”

“Me too, honey. Me too.” I kiss the top of his head, and decide not to lie and tell him that the feeling will go away.

We’re called into a room and the doctor comes in almost immediately.

“Oh, Ms. Butter, hello. Hi, Ben.”

“Hi, Mr. Doctor!”

“And um, is Ben’s father still outside or…?” The doctor asks, turning toward the door.

“Oh. Um, no. We aren’t…no, he’s not coming.”

“Are you sure? I just saw him.”

“What?” The fear instantly rises and I grab Ben’s good arm protectively, slightly panicked.

“Yes, I saw him outside. He said he would be in here for Ben’s cast removal.”

“No. He’s…I didn’t know he was here.”

“Yes, he’s a nice fellow. A bit enthusiastic. He was just talking about their next performance at that big festival next week.”

“Oh, I didn’t know they were playing. Is it the RockFever Fest?” Maybe The String Flingers had managed to get a spot after all.

“Er, I don’t know. He said somewhere in Leeds.” Oh. The RockFever Fest was going to be in Germany.

“Oh, here he is.”

The door swings open and I face the wall, needing a moment to compose myself before seeing Silas. I bite down hard on my tongue, suppressing the combination of anger and fear, wanting to put up a brave front for Ben’s sake.

“Hey! Am I late? Or can we get this show on the road, huh?”

“UNCLE BRAD!”

I swing around, and there he is, standing right there.

In a clown costume, with giant black shoes, pink polka dot suspenders, a cheesy grin painted on his face, and an enormous yellow daisy poking out of the hat on his head.

I stare at him, taking in the whole effect. I’m stunned. So I do what any other person would do in my position.

Laugh.

I laugh with a loud bursting guffaw. That builds into a shaking of my whole entire body. My lungs burn as I gasp for air, bending over, grabbing the edge of the bed for support as I drag air into my chest only to expel it in laughter again. My stomach aches as my muscles contract with uncontrollable mirth. My face streams with tears…of joy.