Page 29 of Strum Me

“It’s, uh, it’s me. We’ve arrived.” I poke my head around the corner and into her room. Her face blares a fiery red and she shoves her hand deep into her purse. “Oh, um, okay, I’ll be right there.”

“Is, um, is everything okay?” I ask, not sure if I want to know.

“Oh yeah, sure, just a call from, um, from home.” She waves her hand, dismissing my questions.

“Someone must be missing you,” I say, the questions continuing to rise in my throat.

She gathers her things and doesn’t offer any more information. I have to leave before I say something neither of us is going to want to hear, so I make my way back down the bus, calling out to her, “I’ve gotta go meet the others. Just come inside when you’re ready.”

Once outside, winter chill slams against my face and I’m momentarily winded. I take a gasp of breath.

Except it’s not that cold.

The lack of air is from the twisting of my lungs from pure jealousy.

I kick the bus’s front tire before I go inside, my insecurity simmering like poison inside me.

***

“So, Brad. Can you tell us a little about the two songs we’re going to hear from you guys today?” asks Felicia, the radio talk show host, after a few minutes of small talk. We’re on a show based on discovering new talent, and it was one of the programs that supported us the most in our earlier years.

“Well, Felicia…why don’t you tell me what you want to hear and I’ll see if we can sort something out just for you?”

Her laugh fills the earphones and even out the corner of my eye I can see Dennis practically beaming, enjoying my rare display of extroversion.

“Now, now, Brad, don’t be monopolizing our hostess today,” Jez cuts in. “Why don’t you go back to being your usual grumpy self?”

“I can’t help it, Jeremy. Felicia here just brings out the talkative in me, I guess.” I grin at her, and she smiles back, her tongue running along the length of her bottom lip, flirting with me.

“Boys…there’s plenty of me, and your fans to go around, I’m sure. But back to your performance...?”

“How ‘bout something a little sexy?” I suggest, my wink getting another sly smile from her.

“What did you have in mind?”

“Nothing I can say on air without being beeped.”

“Ah. You are bad,” she giggles, her chair spinning to face me.

“You have no idea,” I drawl, leaning back in my chair, my eyes locked on her.

Sebastian kicks me hard in the shin and I ignore him. They wanted a flirt, they’re going to get one.

“Back to the sexy...song. I think I have something you’re going to love. Boys?” I turn to them and mouth the title.

We hop off our seats and get into position, giving Felicia a nod to let her know we’re ready.

“Ladies and gentleman…the Rock Chamber Boys, coming to you live from the studio,” Felicia announces.

There’s a short pause as we take a long, deep breath, then Sebastian starts with a soft, crescendo beat. Dum dum dum dum, dum dum dum dum. Jez joins in, his cello’s low, pit of the stomach bass filling my ears, setting the mood. I count myself in, three, three, one, and then my violin soars into the opening to Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Game.” I can’t help but hum along. Da da da daaaa, da da da da da daaaaa. Not for the first time it amazes me how different combinations of notes and pauses can have such varying effects on your mood.

The song is mysterious, sexy.

Just like her.

I force myself to keep my eyes closed. I don’t want to look through the studio window to see what effect my music is having on Emily. Because it would kill me if it had no effect at all.

At least give me that. At least let my music speak to her if my words can’t.