Page 51 of Strum Me

Chapter Nineteen

Emily

Every sound during the night wakes me. Ben’s morphine wears off and he spends the night alternating between moaning softly in his sleep, calling out for me, and waking himself up whenever he tries to turn. With his arm slung up in the air to keep it still for the next twenty-four hours while his cast sets and everything settles, it’s hard for my baby boy to get comfortable.

Needless to say, when the sun rises, I’m awake to greet it.

But blaming my sleepless night on Ben and the hospital is as unfair as it is untrue.

It was Brad. Brad with his promises, Brad with his declarations, Brad with his way of making things right. Brad, with his eyes that barely need to glance at me to know what I’m thinking, how I’m feeling, what I’m wanting, needing. I presume it’s why the one night we spent together was so amazing. Even at eighteen, he knew how to touch me, when and where and how.

Now, as an adult, I can only imagine what he’d do to me if I let him.

And those are the thoughts that kept me awake.

“Mommy, is Brad coming to visit today?” Ben pipes up, as if hearing my thoughts, as embarrassing as that would be.

“Yes, sweetheart, he is. But he probably won’t be able to stay. He’s very, very busy. It was very nice of him to be here yesterday, but he will probably have to go back to work soon.”

“Ooh, do you think we can visit him there?”

“Well, let’s get you well first, okay?”

“I’m okay, Mommy. I feel better than I did last night. I don’t want to stay here much longer.”

“Well, we’ll see what the doctor says, okay?”

“Okay. I wonder if he’ll let me have ice cream again, if I’m a good boy.”

“You and your ice cream!” I ruffle the tuft of hair sticking up at the back of his head, my heart almost bursting with love for my little creature.

“Did someone say ice cream because…oh…wait, what? What is in this bag?” We hear a deep male voice call out to us from the room entrance.

“Brad!”

“Hey there, Benny Boy! How are you feeling today?” Brad asks, strolling into the room like he owns it. Confidence oozing from every pore. I can smell his cologne from across the room, and I wonder if they’ve approached him to advertise for them, because if every woman reacted to men like I was reacting to him, they’d make a freaking fortune.

“I’m super great! The doctor says the nurse is going to give me some markers today so I can get everyone to draw on my cast. Will you write something?” I hear Ben chattering away to Brad when I turn my attention back to them.

“Of course—it probably won’t be as good as what your mother writes, but I’m sure I can think up something. Now, weren’t you helping me get something out of that bag?”

Ben pulls a container out of the bag Brad puts in his lap. “It’s…oh! It’s…what does that say, Mommy?”

I lean over and read off the label. “It says…Dippin’ Dots.”

“What’s ...deepy dods?”

Brad’s laugh fills the room. “Dippin’ Dots, just the best ice cream ever. And the salesperson even told me it’s extra good for growing broken bones. So, you better eat up, quick! Or else the doctor might find out, and he’ll want you to share with everyone.”

“Oh, that’s okay, I’m happy to share if it’ll help the other kids around here too,” Ben says.

“Dude. What crazy, well adjusted, mature, kinda kid did you give birth to?” Brad asks me and I can’t help but beam proudly.

“Brad? You wanna know the worst thing about my broken arm?” Ben asks.

“What’s that, kiddo?” Brad pats him on the head.

“I can’t pick my nose anymore, which is probably good, ‘cause Mommy says it’s yucky and I shouldn’t.”