Page 88 of Strum Me

“Oh my God, Ben, Ben, my baby, Ben!”

“Hi Mommy!”

The crowd erupts into applause and cheers and I hear someone play a happy little jig on their instrument.

“Ben! Where did you go? I was so worried. Mommy thought she’d lost you.”

“I wasn’t lost. I knew where I was all the time.”

Still holding Ben, I look up onto the stage. The guys are standing there grinning. Except for Brad. He looks so relieved, I think he might pass out. He’s leaning against Marius, one hand massaging the side of his forehead. I realize then that he loves Ben. I don’t know why, but he does.

He catches my eye and he smiles softly and does a little happy wave with his bow.

“You all right then?” he says to me.

I nod and he says something to the band. They take their places and I stand up, taking Ben’s hand in mine. I give Silas a look as we walk past him and he follows us closely behind. The music starts up around us, and we wait until we’re in the relative quiet of the tent before talking.

“Ben!” Carries yells when she sees him and runs up, taking him in her arms much like I had just a minute ago. “Oh Ben, why did you run away? I was so worried about you!”

“I didn’t run away. I went to see Mommy. Then someone bumped into me and I got caught up in a crowd. I got kinda lost but then I saw Daddy and he helped me.”

I raise an eyebrow at Silas.

“Hey, it’s what happened,” he confirms.

“Are you okay, Ben? Does your arm hurt?”

“A little bit, but I’m okay. I’m thirsty though.”

“Okay, let’s get you a drink.” Carrie looks to me to make sure, and I nod, glad for some alone time with Silas.

“So, you just happened to be there, Silas?”

“What does that mean?” He raises an eyebrow but offers no more information.

“I don’t know, it just seems…”

“You think I was just lurking, in case my son got lost so I could kidnap him...and then bring him back five minutes later. Come on, Emily.”

“I don’t know what to think. You’ve just been…you’ve just been everywhere I turn these last few days and it’s freaking me out.”

“Well, you know what? Maybe you should be glad I’ve been around. Who knows what could’ve happened to him? What are you thinking anyway bringing him here? Bringing him on the goddamn tour?”

“I-I…”

“Maybe it’s me who should be thinking things over.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means, I was twenty-one when he was born. I’m older now. You said maybe things will change at some point. Maybe that point is now.”

“Don’t threaten me, Silas.”

“It’s only a threat if I don’t intend on going through with it. And you should know me better than that. I’ll see you around, Emily. Whether it freaks you out or not.”

The shiver that runs through my body when he pulls apart the tent flap and walks out has nothing to do with the flash of wind that blows through the small enclosure.

I knew it. I knew it would come to this one day.

My fuck-ups are coming back to haunt me one by one.