Page 30 of Serenade Me

“Oh my god, no. Fuck, god no. I want to, I want it to so bad I’m afraid my zipper’s not going to hold out much longer against the strength of my… want.” Her eyes flick to my groin, just for a second, then away. But I see it. “No, Anca. Because… Jez.”

She narrows her eyes and takes a step towards me.

“What about him?”

“You’re his sister.”

“Yeah?”

“And. I’m his…”

“Friend? Bandmate?” She suggests.

“No, well, yes, but, above all else, I’m his… bro.” And he is mine.

“So, that makes you my bro?” She muses, tentatively.

“Kinda.” I shrug.

“OK. Ew. Moment over.” She scrunches up her face.

I let out a small chuckle and she gives me a one shoulder shrug and sits down on one of the wicker chairs.

“Fuck.” She says, her head falling into her hands. “This was NOT supposed to happen. How did this happen?”

“Well, there wasn’t much chance of it before. Maybe we should go back to hating each other?”

“I could never hate you, Marius, I never have and I never will.’

“Are you sure. You didn’t like me so much the other day.”

“You’re an idiot.” Her words are insulting, but the smile she gives me tells me a different story. “I’ve had a crush on you since I was 13 years old. I, er, I even told Jez about it.”

“Oh. How did that go down?”

“Not good.” She lets out a small laugh. It’s so cute I just want to go up and give her forehead a kiss. And then ravage her. I slap my forehead to get the image out of my skull. “Anyway. It was just a puppy love thing.”

“Wow. Okay. Huh. And that kiss just then?”

“Think of it this way, it was just to satisfy the teenager inside me.”

“And what about the raging horn dog in me?”

“He will have to say goodnight to me now.”

“Yeah. Fuck. This sucks.” I sigh and reach out to tuck an errant curl behind her ear. “All I want to do right now is kiss you until you beg for breath.”

She looks away and smiles. “The teenager in me is really happy to hear that. It was a pretty big crush.”

We sit for a moment, listening to the traffic sounds drift up to our balcony. I try not to think about how long it’s been since I’ve felt this strong an attraction to someone. And why it doesn’t matter that I feel this way now.

“Hey,” I say after the moon has shifted in the sky. “Remember all those things I said that night, that I said was just to surprise you?”

“Yeah,” she nods.

“I meant every word. Every word.”

“Marius…” she looks up at me, and everything I’m feeling is reflected in her eyes.

I can’t stop myself when I lean down, and press my lips against hers.

It’s different this time. Soft, tender, sweet. So right in every way. But so wrong in just the one way.

I pull back, just far enough so that our lips aren’t touching, but I can still taste the sweet tinge of the gin on her breath.

“I’m sorry. I can’t. I just can’t. I won’t do it to Jez.” I whisper, my words brushing against her lips.

Her hand comes up to softly caress my cheek and she smiles. I can’t see it on her face, I’m still so close, but I can see it in her eyes. “I know. He’s lucky to have us,” she sighs, and I’d chuckle if it didn’t hurt.

“Goodnight, Anca.” I whisper.

“Goodnight, Marius.” She replies.

And I leave before I do something no apologies will ever repair.