Page 56 of Serenade Me

I nod and run my fingers along the jagged lines of his initials.

“You were lucky.”

He smiles, “I was.”

And suddenly, it hits me. A sadness I haven’t let myself indulge for a long time. I try to swallow the sob, but it just catches in my throat and makes it louder. I turn away from Marius, running towards a dark corner in the garden. It’s not as manicured here, it’s wild and slightly overgrown. It fits my mood.

And I’m crying. Hot, thick, salty tears are streaming down my face and there’s nothing I can do to stop them. I cover my face but that just splashes the wetness against my cheeks, so I just let them fall. A river of sadness as the ache burns hot and searing in my chest, like a blazing iron ball, weighing me down. I feel rough grass and pebbles under my knees, I barely realize I’ve sunk to the ground. But I’m not alone. There are arms around me, and hands in my hair and warm breath against my ear, cooing to me, comforting me, letting me know that all I have to worry about is letting it all out, to release the valve on my pain, and lighten the burden.

“I’m here, darling. I’m here. Just let it all out,” he whispers, and there’s a husk in his voice, as if he understands the pain I’m going through. But he doesn’t, he can’t. His parents are still alive.

“Oh god, I miss them so much,” I hear myself sobbing. And I do. God, I miss them so much. I miss them with every breath I take, with every step I take, with every note I play. I miss them so much, I don’t know who I am and where I want to be going.

His arms grip tighter around me, and I feel him move, my face is pressed against his chest and his heartbeat is racing against my ear. A sob chokes in my throat and I feel my body shake to get rid of it.

“Make it go away, Marius… please, just make it all go away.”

I feel myself look up at him, his face is blurry through my tears but it’s him. And the look in his eyes isn’t pity, it’s… it’s something else. Something I’ve never seen before, from anyone. It’s something I want to get lost in.

“Marius, please,” I beg him, knowing only he can ease the sorrow in my heart right now.

“Anca,” he whispers, taking my face in his hands.

And my lips are on his.

Hard and desperate and hungry and urgent and frantic.

And suddenly, it’s not an escape I’m looking for.

It’s a destination.

Him.