Page 72 of Serenade Me

“Jez! Let me go!” I yell, trying to break free from his hold. What is he doing here?

“No, you’re coming with me, Anca.”

“No! I can’t…”

“Stop… for fuck’s sake, stop saying that!”

“She’s right. She can’t go with you. She’s going with me.”

“Over your dead body,” Jez hisses and he takes a step towards my teacher.

The Maestro takes a step back. I’m not surprised, Jez is tall and very intimidating. “Now, calm down. I think this is all a misunderstanding. Let’s just sit down and talk.”

“No, I think the time for listening to you talk is over. Anca. Get your things, we’re going.”

“Anca. You know what will happen if you leave with him,” the Maestro warns me. Warns me, that there’s no place for me out there.

I rip my hand away from Jez and step away from him. “He’s right. There’s no point, Jez. I’m better off here. It’ll be better for you too.”

For a moment, the hurt in his eyes almost penetrates my self-pity. But I know it really will be better for him if my troubles aren’t his.

He takes a step towards me, and this time gently takes my hand in his.

“When will you learn, nothing is better without you in it, Anca. You’re my little sister. There’s nothing more important. And I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to come back for you. And that you’ve been suffering alone here with all these lies. But I’m not going to let you waste away here another minute longer. Now pick up your things, and let’s go.”

The dam in my chest breaks, and the tears flood my eyes. And for the first time in years I Iet myself hear the voice that loves me. It’s time. To go with Jez. I know it is. Jez has come to save you. Let’s go, Anca. Let’s go.

I turn to pick up my bag and reach for my harp.

“If you leave, you leave the harp as well. You don’t deserve it.” His words cut through my temporary relief like a firebrand.

“No. I… I can’t..” I turn back to Jez.

“Anca. Wait for me by the door.” He tells me. I hesitate and he smiles, and I know I’m safe. “Go.”

As I move to my escape, Jez takes a step towards the instrument, looking in the middle of the room, then with a force of rage I’ve never seen from him, I watch as he slams his hand against the wooden curve, and watch it splinter under his fist, the strings crumbling into a discordant mess.

“Jez!” I yell. The Maestro just stands there, mouth agape. He looks so much smaller than even just a moment ago. I turn back to the harp,and suddenly I feel as the crumpled strings are falling from my wrists, the broken restraints releasing me.

“Come on, Anca,” Jez says as he strides towards me, taking my hand in his. “Let’s go.”

I linger, just for a moment.

“No, don’t look back. Only forward from now on.”

I swallow, and force myself to echo his words.

“OK, Jezzy. Only forward.”

He saved me. Jez came back to save me. Just like he always said he would.