Page 83 of Serenade Me

Chapter Twenty-seven

Anca

A week after the concert in Nice, we’re in Normandy for an outdoor concert at their Spring festival and the night finishes up with fireworks lighting up the coastal sky. Reds and greens and pure, bright whites, reflected in our upturned faces to the chorus of oohs and ahhs, voices already husky from the screams and yells of a fun night out.

The band then disperses into the night as we each span the city looking for our own fun.

Mine, of course, lies in the circle of Marius’s arms. We walk in silence along the beach, reveling in the strange juxtaposed sounds of the water lapping against the shore and the laughter from the crowds trawling the streets after our concert on the esplanade.

“Hey.” He stops out of nowhere and pulls me to face him.

“Hey, right back,” I reply, looking up into his soft, earnest eyes.

He looks tired but content. Mirroring me, I suppose. It’s been a long few days, draining both physically and emotionally.

“How you feeling?” He asks me, like he does all the time. I know it’s not a throwaway question though. He’s taking his time to care about me, learn about me.

“Good. I mean, I’m glad about Jez. What it means long term, I’m not really sure. But it seems like he might be ready to give us a chance.”

He nods and starts to walk back up the beach.

“How are YOU feeling?” I shoot the question back at him. It’s become clear to me that he’s not as comfortable answering questions as he is asking them. And that my best bet is to just keep asking, and by sheer law of numbers, he will reply to one now and again.

“If I tell you, I-…”

“Will have to kill me?”

He smiles, and I rise up on my tip toes and lay a kiss on his cheek.

“No, I might have to kill myself… but no, not you. Never.”

“Hmmm, now you have to tell.”

We walk in silence for a few minutes until we reach a bench on the side of the road under a lamp. He sits down and pulls me into his lap, nuzzling his face against my neck.

“How did you feel during the concert today?”

“Good, I mean, I still don’t think I can do it without the meditation and breathing exercises. But… it’s getting better. I, um, I’m starting to believe the good now, and not just the bad. But, well, that stuff doesn’t just go away.”

He nods slowly, taking in every word.

“It IS true though, you know. The reaction from the crowd… and what I… we’ve been telling you for the last month. You’re incredible.”

“I know you believe it.”

“I want YOU to believe it”

“I will. Just give me time. You know the old adage about it being easier to believe the bad about yourself than the good.’

“I know. Trust me… I know.”

“So, um, what do you think is next in line for you, after all this?”

“I… honestly don’t know, Marius. I know I can’t keep playing with you guys forever…” I shrug.

“Well, you COULD.”

“No, firstly, I am just filling in for Cadence… and secondly, even that is just a guest job. The Rock Chamber Boys works as a unit of four, and it should stay that way.” He knows I’m right. “But, I hope you’ll still let me join in now and again.”