Page 90 of Serenade Me

Chapter Twenty-nine

Anca

I’ve never been an extrovert.

Even in my most outspoken, outgoing moments, there’s a part of me that feels like I’m floating out of body and watching myself play act for a moment, hiding from the shy, quiet girl inside.

My memories are filled with trying to survive the trauma that colored each and every one of my days since my losing my parents.

That kind of life really doesn’t crave any more drama.

I don’t search for movies with rollercoaster love stories, romance novels with implausible twists and turns before getting to an unsatisfying ending; my heart is already barely held together by the scars of my childhood pain.

I crave contentment.

Simplicity.

The quiet joy of lying in Marius’ arms and his sleeping breath in my ear.

I never wanted anything more than that. I didn’t want the burden of Jez’s hurt. Of that look in his eyes that two of the people he trusts most in the world have succumbed to their own selfishness to betray him.

It taints it, it taints everything.

And even as I sit here, remembering the wild look on Jez’s face as he lunged towards Marius, I can’t help but think, they are so alike.

Unable to see past their own egos to see me for who I am.

A soft knock on the door pulls me from my memories of the night.

I open it and a sliver of bright light from the hotel hallway splits my dark room in two.

“Hey.” Marius says, his voice low. His head leaning against the doorframe. “Can I come in?”

I open the door a little, and move to the side letting him step past me and then close the door behind him. He walks over to the open window; there’s the barest glow from the moon filtering through.

We stand there in silence for a moment as our eyes adjust.

“Anca.” He reaches out and I bite my lip, trying not to flinch as he cups his cool hand against my bruised cheek. “I’m so sorry.” I don’t say anything. I’m not sure what there is to say. “I didn’t see you there, it was an accident.”

“I know.” I whisper.

“You-you believe me?”

“Of course, I do. I know you wouldn’t try to hurt me on purpose.”

He pulls his hand away and he falls to his knees, his face in his hands. It takes everything I have not to wrap my arms around him.

There’s a sob and when he pulls his hands away, his face is wet with tears.

“Thank you.”

“What for?”

“For knowing that I didn’t hit you on purpose.”

“Marius, a lot of really fucked up things happened tonight, but you deliberately hurting me, was never one of those things.”

“Jez… Jez thinks I did it on purpose.”