Page 16 of Rock Me

“HEY! THERE YOU ARE!” A loud, brash voice clangs into the night and we jump apart.

She looks up at the woman at the door, “Oh, Paige. Um….”

“We have to go, NOW. James’ girlfriend just showed up! Can you believe it?! What a cheating tool! Let’s GO!” She storms down the alley, stopping only to yell at her friend to hurry up.

Toilet Girl just looks at me, and I know the moment has passed.

I get up, dusting the back of my jeans off and hold my hand out to her.

She hesitates for a moment, and slides her hand into mine, and lets me help her to her feet. She stumbles, and presses a hand against my chest to steady herself. My blood and breath cleaves to the skin where she’s touching and I can’t help but slide one hand up her back, pulling her closer to me.

She might’ve been working in a steamy kitchen for sixteen hours, but I can smell talcum powder on her skin. I take a deep breath, the scent anchoring itself in my brain.

I don’t want to be the first one to pull away, and it’s a while before she finally pushes on my chest, and we peel apart.

She gives me a soft smile, and shakes the water bottle. “Thanks for this.”

“No problem. I hope you’re feeling better.”

She smiles, and hugs her arms around her body, goosebumps appearing on the back of her neck.

“Oh, hey, You’re cold. Here, take my jacket.” I pull my leather jacket off and drape it around her shoulders. It’s my favorite jacket, but there’s something about seeing her in it that makes my heart flip flop in my rib cage.

“No…I can’t….”

“No, please. You kept me company out here, think of it as a birthday present.”

She smiles and slides her arms into the sleeves and make it looks like the jacket was tailor made for her.

“I guess I’ll see you around,” I say, not sure how to end this strange and wonderful interaction. She just nods and stares at her feet for a moment. She has a boyfriend, I remind myself. I’m not sure what I thought I was doing, declaring that I wanted to kiss her. And now I’ve made it awkward. Time to let her go.

“Happy Birthday, Toilet Girl,” I say, pressing a kiss to her cheek, lingering longer than I need to. But not nearly long enough. I pull away, and now it’s my turn to have goosebumps rising all over my skin.

“Happy You’re Not A Fraud Day, Sir Elbow Jerk,” she replies, and gives me one last dazzling smile before she takes off on a run to catch up with her friend.

It’s quiet in the alley again. With just me. All the noise of a city reluctant to go to bed after a wild night out blends into the background. I think about the things I told her. Things I’d never really thought about myself. How I feel like a fraud.

Maybe she’s right. A few hours ago, all I wanted was to win the Grammy. Then we held it in our hands – and now I feel empty.

Maybe it’s time. It’s time to focus on something else, something that’s been missing.

Shit.

Why did I let her just walk away? When I have ever felt like that before?

I push myself up off the ground and make my way to the street. I’ve got to find her. How? I don’t have her name, her number.

But you know where she works, you idiot. That logo on her shirt, what did it say? Think, idiot, think[R3].

It said “Federico’s”, of course.

I grab my phone and type the name into Google Maps. Bing. I’ve found it. It’s just around the corner, and three blocks down. I’ll go, I’ll find out her name, her phone number.

What if they don’t give it to you? Then I’ll camp out there until the next time she’s working.

I run down to the end of the alley, filled with energy. For the first time in forever, I have a new purpose.

Welcome to this new phase in your life, Jez. It’s the new age.

I check the direction on my phone and step off the sidewalk onto the empty street, a smile on my face.

And I hear a car horn.

There’s a bright light.

I hear tires screeching

Then everything fades to black.