Page 20 of Rock Me

CHAPTER FIVE

Noémie

“And then the guy behind me is like, ‘Lady, twelve items is twelve items, all duplicates still count as an item.’ So, then I asked if the six cans in his six-pack each counted as an item as well, or if each grain of salt in his salt shaker counted as well, and well, long story short, he let me through and I have a date with a hot teacher tonight.” She stops and takes a long breath and sinks into the armchair, sipping from her water bottle. “Noémie, did you hear what I said?”

I look up at her, “Er, yeah. Sure. Sorry, just kinda zoned out.”

“Did you sleep okay?” She frowns, concern filling her eyes.

“Yeah, um, it was okay.” ‘Okay’ isn’t a lie. On the other hand, ‘long and uninterrupted by nightmares’ would be.

“Ok, well, I won’t stay long, but I brought you this,” she says and holds up a purple book. “I found it yesterday in the living room bookshelf. It’s your photo album.”

“Oh yeah, sure. Thanks.”

“Do you want to have a look at it now?”

I shake my head. “Um, maybe later, I think I might try to have a nap.”

“Oh. Ok, do you want me to leave?”

Yes. “No, it’s ok.”

She smiles and pats my foot. “I’ll go, I’ve got some stuff to do anyway. I just wanted to make sure you settled in okay after the move.”

“Yeah, I’m good. Thanks… thanks for coming.”

She comes over and smooths the top of my head with her hand. “Take care, okay? Let me know if you need anything.”

“I will. Thanks. See ya.”

She grabs her bag and gives me another smile before leaving.

I sink back into the bed, exhausted. I appreciate her coming but each visit just drains me of every ounce of energy I have.

After watching TV for a few minutes, I turn it off. My head still hurts when I'm focusing on a screen, but hopefully, that will eventually fade. Like everything else, I can't help but think. How ironic.

The photo album Paige brought with her is still sitting on the table next to the bed and I reach for it, running my fingertip over the smooth, leather cover. I remember carefully choosing each and every photo I put in it, before my move to L.A., and how the first few months, I practically slept with it under my bed. But it's probably been over a year since I looked at it last.

I turn the front page. and my own face is suddenly smiling back at me. Me and Mom and Dad, on the day of my college graduation. So full of life, so full of hope, fearless about what was lying ahead. Not in a million years, in that moment when the camera lens clicked, did I think four years later, I'd be here.

I close the album. Not sure if I'm really in the mood for reminiscing. But it's not reminiscing, it's exercise, my brain tells me.

It's a Thursday, says the calendar by the bed that Paige brought for me. Each month has a picture of little kittens in teapots. It will relax you, she'd said. In that moment, it was hard not to wonder who was the one with the sore head, considering how many times I'd told her I hate cats.

Thursday, I look at the calendar again. Just to make I haven't forgotten. Not that that really means anything. Every day is just a copy of the day before it, and a prediction of the day ahead. And the only light at the end of the tunnel is that I'm slowly feeling better. And my mind is getting clearer.

Just not clear enough, just yet.

Give it time, they say.

I guess time is all I've really got right now.

I lay back against the pillows, looking around my new room. It's bright and airy. There's much less background noise up here, and if I close my eyes, I think I can almost hear the sound of the wind whispering through the sprouting leaves on the trees outside the window.

My eyes scan over the room, taking note of where everything is situated. Bathroom is behind that door on the right. A stack of drinking cups by the sink. Enamel jug with faded blue flowers on the table. My purple ukulele case on the chair by the bed. I sit up, squinting at it, making sure my eyes are focusing right.

My ukulele, what's that doing here? I haven't seen that since... well, I honestly don't remember since when. I guess Paige brought it with her today.